


The Laws of Honorable Schoolboys

by Sodafly



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: school au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-09
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:51:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sodafly/pseuds/Sodafly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Moriarty is used to living a life on his own, that is until Sebastian Moran is transferred into his chemistry class and unwillingly become his lab partner. School/ Teen! AU. MorMor in later chapter</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introducing Sebastian Moran

**Author's Note:**

> This is in response to a request on Tumblr. I enjoyed it so much that I'm going to carry it on into a larger piece. Chapters will get longer after this one

Surprisingly, Jim didn’t know a lot about Sebastian Moran. He knew the simple facts like everyone else; that he had moved to Dublin two years ago, leaving his father who was some kind of fancy diplomat behind in London. He knew that Sebastian didn’t talk much yet had the mutual respect and liking from a lot of the other students in their year. That was as far as Jim’s interest in Sebastian Moran had fled; he seemed pretty normal and was yet to get his way so in Jim’s view Sebastian wasn’t worth his time.

Sitting at one of the thick wooden tables near the front of the chemistry lab Jim tapped his pen impatiently against the scorched worktop, watching as his class mates filed in around him. They fussed over their lab partners, each eager to sit with one of their friends and not be the one left sitting in the empty seat next to Jim. Jim wasn’t foolish, he knew he wasn’t popular in any way possible and frankly he liked it that way, people were idiots, tools, dispensable wads of flesh that bumbled around in a meaningless existence. They were nothing like Jim, Jim was so much more than each and every one of his class mates put together and he was glad that they made an effort not to be associated with him.

Mr Hopkins, probably the oldest teacher in the school, finally backed into the classroom with arms piled high with text books and paper work, demanding silence as he wadded to his desk. Mr Hopkins was one of those elderly men who had realised a little too late that they had achieved nothing from their life and suddenly felt extremely bitter about the fact that there was nothing which could be done to change that. He reminded Jim of the Hunchback of Notre Dame with his chin constantly sunk upon his chest so that his shoulder rose in an abstract way around his neck. Surely the position wasn’t comfortable whilst teaching thirty uninterested teenagers about chemistry but he doubted that Mr Hopkins cared.

“I suppose I should welcome you all back from the summer holidays and say what a joy it is to see you all again, but I am not going to lie. I know that you don’t want to be here and neither do I, but the difference here is that I get paid for doing this and you don’t.” A murmur rippled through the class as My Hopkins pushed the paperwork from his arms and stalked down between the rows, slapping thick textbooks down onto each table.

“This year’s syllabus textbooks draw on them all you like as long as you get the work done on time to a satisfying standard I don’t care.” Yes, the no nonsense approach without the added details was something Jim liked about Mr Hopkins. Well, it was the only thing Jim liked about Mr Hopkins.  Once the class were equipped with their new textbooks and Hopkins had turned to write the first title of the year upon the blackboard, the classroom door creaked upon slowly. Glancing up from his book Jim saw the tall figure of Sebastian Moran standing in the doorway. He had one strap of his bag slung over his shoulder and his fiddled with the edges of a slip which was curled between his fingers. Odd, he didn’t remember have Sebastian in his class last year.

“Yes what do you want Mr Moran?”

“I have a transfer note sir.” Sebastian said, walking into the room and passing the note in his hand into Hopkins’ snatching claws. Hopkins’ eyes studied it with disinterest.

“Yes, well hurry up and take a seat pick up a textbook whilst you’re at it.” Sebastian nodded and silently did as he was told, grabbing the left over textbook from the desk and briefly scanning the room for an available seat. Some of the girls in the class squirmed their seats, flicking their hair or biting the top of their pens suggestively as Sebastian wandered passed them. Jim new that the only available seat was the one next to him and he ground his teeth in irritations, making no attempt to wipe that look of scorn off his face as Seb dumped his back and slid into onto the stool next to his.  Jim didn’t bother looking at Seb, he wasn’t worth his time or effort. In the forefront of his mind, Jim couldn’t help but feel like his school year would be going downhill from here onwards.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sebastian was bad company really. Jim had sat next to people who were much worse in his time, so compared to them Seb was bearable.   He made no effort to engage Jim in conversation; he just sat down, got his stuff out and worked quietly from his textbook. He made sure he didn’t bother Jim by asking stupid questions or by crossing the invisible boarder down the centre of the table which marked Jim’s desk space. He just sat there and left without a fuss when the bell went. Jim also observed that his lab partner wasn’t a total idiot which was always a bonus; he scored well on quizzes and understood what was being piped into his brain without confusion. Jim liked that, being sat next to someone who wasn’t completely hopeless and was silent throughout it all was almost as good as sitting by himself.  But Seb couldn’t remain silent forever and Jim knew that.

Jim had been particularly sour that day. He had been corned near the bus stop on his way home by Carl Powers and his cronies who stolen his bag and ran off with it before Jim even had the chance to protest. He had managed to salvage a couple of his text books which had fallen out of his bag in the commotion but it was hardly anything. All his school work was gone and he would have to waste valuable hours trying to get it all back. The great bloody idiots, one day he would make them pay for this.

Trudging up the driveway of his house with an armful of books Jim pushed the door with his shoulder only to find that it wouldn’t budge. Placing his books on the doorstep, he wiggled the handle and pushed again to no avail.

“Shit!” Jim exclaimed, kicking the door so that it rattled in its frame.  His parents were still at work and his keys had been in his stolen bag and it wasn’t as if his older brother was going to suddenly come back from university to let him in. He was stuck outside until his parents returned, and that time would vary day to day.

“Fucking idiots!” Jim screamed, pulling at his hair before sinking onto the doorstep.  There were reasons why Jim disliked everyone, this being one of them. The coldness of the grey paving slabs seeped through Jim’s uniform making him shiver slightly. The late September chill was hanging in the air and being locked outside ones house was no a sensible way to avoid it.  For a moment Jim wondered how he was going to explain this to his parents, they would cause a fuss if they knew of the torment he received on the daily basis and Jim didn’t want that. No he didn’t want the teachers involved in bringing down his enemies, he wanted the satisfaction of doing it all by himself.

“Jim.” The visions of Carl Powers twisting in agony faded as Jim was dragged out of his angered daydream. Raising his head from his hands he looked up to see Sebastian Moran stood halfway down his driveway.  He stood there without his jumper, tie half undone with Jim’s bag in his arms. It ws sodden and dripping water over Seb’s hands. For a moment Jim just sat there. What the hell was Seb doing with his bag? How had he managed to get it from those idiots? And why the fuck was it soaking wet?

“I found it on the river bank, I don’t know what it was doing there but- ” Jim stood suddenly, striding across the driveway to snatch his belongings from Sebastian’s arms, ignoring the muddy smears it had left on his shirt. He scowled at Seb before turning sharply on his heels and finally opening the front door of his house without a word of thanks. Jim dropped his things on the wooden flooring and rushed to the living room window. He watched Sebastian’s tall figure standing for a moment in his driveway, calculating what had just happened but he turned and strolled back onto the street to continue his journey home.    For a moment Jim stood there before turning his attention back to his bag. As he emptied the continence and hung it out to dry, he couldn’t help but feel bad for not saying thank you.

He made an unusual effort to amend that the next day.  Chemistry wasn’t on the timetable so Jim would have to do this the hard way; it felt oddly human to be wandering around campus at lunchtime in search of someone.  He found Sebastian sat on the tarmac leaning against the wall behind him. As he got closer Jim could see that he was scribbling in a textbook which was resting against his knees. Briefly Jim wondered why Seb was one his own, until he figured that Seb’s friends had gone to get lunch from the canteen or something boring like that.

“Hey.” Sebastian looked up with surprise when he heard Jim’s voice.

“Hey.” Jim folded his arms across his chest and kicked the toe of his shoe against the tarmac. This was harder than he thought it was going to be.

“Look, thanks for getting my bag but you didn’t have to, I could have handled it by myself.” Seb was looking at him with an expression which looked like he wanted to laugh but knew otherwise.  Flipping the back of his notepad, Seb scribbled something onto the page. Jim attempted to peer over Seb to see what he was writing but his view was blocked.

“Seeing as you are so content in handling things yourself how about you let me help you with your notes. Those books were soaked through so if you want you can come round some time and copy mine up, we may not be in the same class but we are learning the same stuff right.” Jim eyed the slip of paper which was being held out to him with suspicion. Why was Seb being so helpful?

“What do you want from me?” Jim said defensively, his eyes narrowing. Seb dared to crack a tiny smile, rising to full height before picking his bag up off the floor.

“Just take it or leave it, it’s not like anyone else is going to help you out.” Seb said, placing the slip of paper into Jim’s hand before walking away. Jim looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. on it an address had been scrawled as well as a time. Jim was half tempted to throw the lined piece of paper in the bin and forget about it all, but for some reason he found himself folding it neatly and slipping it inside his trouser pocket instead. 


	2. A Study of Blooming Companionship

It would be a couple of weeks until Jim took Seb up on his offer.  Admittedly he had played with the idea of going to Seb’s house as he pinned the slip of paper to his bedroom wall that evening, he had even walked on the weekend in order to find out where the house actually was. It had been a surprise to find that Seb only lived a couple of streets away and probably passed his house every time he travelled to school. How had he failed to observe that?

Jim sat up in bed and eyed the slip of paper for the billionth time. Sebastian hadn’t mentioned it during their chemistry lesson; in fact, he had remained silent as always. But why had he done it? Seb should be like Carl; he should be pushing Jim into the corridor walls, stealing his textbooks and sneering obscenities at him from across the class room. He shouldn’t be doing.... _this._   Schools worked in certain ways, those ways forced Seb into two separate categories socially. People like Seb who were social butterflies and liked by the vast majority and people like Jim who were the total opposite of those things. Those classes didn’t tend to mix and Seb’s kindness did nothing for Jim’s natural paranoia.

Nevertheless Jim found himself wandering up Sebastian’s driveway one Friday after school. He hadn’t bothered to unpack his school bag but he had taken the time to change out of his school uniform and into some jeans and a t-shirt. He didn’t want to appear like swot after all.  Seb, like Jim, lived in a street of identical houses, not too big yet not too small and each had a suitable sized garden. It was like walking up the driveway to his own home if it wasn’t for the tiny bench next to the front door and the half dead potted plant which sat next to it.  Ringing the door bell Jim waited on the doorstep, counting every second which passed.  When the door opened Jim wasn’t greeted by Sebastian but by another boy. He was a little taller than Jim, similar looking to Seb with the addition of darker hair which was slightly longer.

“Is Sebastian home?” Jim asked curtly as the other boy cocked his head to the side.  Jim noticed that he was chewing gum, a trait which irritated Jim to no end.

“Yeah hang on a sec.” The other boy took a massive inhale before shouting “Seb, someone at the door for you!” at the top of his lungs. It was surprisingly that he didn’t choke on his chum whilst doing so. There was a muffled reply from somewhere in the house, followed by the thud of footsteps jogging down the stairs.  Sebastian looked blinked in surprise when he finally emerged in the doorway wearing fabric jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.

“Jim....hey; come inside.” Sebastian said, standing aside to allow Jim to walk into the house.

“Let’s get this straight, I’m here to copy your notes, the quicker I’m done with it the less time we have to spend in each other’s company. This is in no way a social visit and we are in no way friends” Jim stated blandly, looking around the room before pinning Sebastian with a look. The boy stood beside Sebastian glanced towards the one he stood next to, raising his eyebrows before wisely disappearing into a different room.

“Okay, calm down it wasn’t like I was going to ask you to see a film with me or anything.” Sebastian had a nerve to talk to him like that and oddly enough Jim rather liked it. Jim was used to the sneers, but no one ever spoke against him, so Sebastian’s bluntness was something fresh.  Jim made no effort to reply, just followed after Seb as he hopped back up the stairs taking two steps at a time.

Sebastian’s bed room wasn’t like Jim expected it to be. It was crisp and neat with a bookcase piled high with books leant against one of the light grey rooms. Of course there were the scattering of objects on the floor and over the unmade bed but compared to the stereotypical image of teenage boy’s bedrooms it was unusually tidy.

“So you can just copy out what you need alright?”  Seb said, reaching up to the top shelf nailed into the wall where a stack of books lay and tossing the pile onto the bed. Jim slid onto the bed and briefly studied the pile. It would take him a long time to copy out all the notes and his time was limited meaning that he would probably have to return two or three times after this.  He didn’t know whether the prospect was one to look forward to just yet, Seb still remain very much in the grey area as far as Jim’s liking was concerned.  Glancing at Seb who had settled himself on the floor with a book between his knees, Jim hoisted his bag up against his side and started to scribble down the note in the nearest textbook. Sebastian’s hand writing was surprisingly neat, the letter thick and chunky and easy to read compared to Jim’s joined up loopy writing which appeared almost feminine on the page. Oddly enough Jim felt perfectly at ease sat on Sebastian’s bed with Seb himself sat barely a mater away. Jim wasn’t used to companionship but there was something about Seb which made him shine a little brighter than the other grey individuals they called their classmates.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Who the fuck was that creep?” The voice of Sebastian’s younger brother Arthur sounded from the kitchen as Seb shut the front door behind Jim. Walking into the kitchen Seb clapped his brother teasingly around the back of the head before hoisting himself up onto the kitchen countertop.

“Watch your language, and that ‘creep’ is a friend of mine.”

“I though he said that you two aren’t friends.” Arthur stated matter-of-factly as he rubbed the back of his head, smacking his gum loudly between his teeth. Seb shrugged, briefly flipping through the post which had piled up next to him.

“Jim’s the kind of guy who wouldn’t acknowledge friendship even when he knows he has it.” Seb thought it was funny that he was talking about Jim as if he knew him well. In some respects he did. He had sat next to Jim for almost a month now and he felt oddly familiar with the other. Seb knew the way in which Jim worked, the way he interacted (or didn’t interact as the case may be)  with people, the way he would roll his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh because he felt that every being in the classroom was a senseless idiot. Seb blatantly knew that Jim wasn’t very well liked by anyone, but there was something about the short, large eyed teen with a mouthful of braces which Seb couldn’t help but feel drawn to. He wanted to know more, he wanted a chance to prove himself yet he had no idea why.

“....He still sounds like a bit of a creep to me.” Arthur stated earning another whack around the ear as he strolled passed his older brother. Like any brothers the idle hitting soon turned into a brawl on the kitchen floor with playful punched being thrown left right and centre. Caught the throws of brotherly combat neither of them heard the front door opening or noticed the presence of their mother until the last moment.

“Sebastian Charles Moran what do you think you are doing?” The sound of their mother’s demanding tone slammed against Sebastian’s ear drums just as he pinning his brother face down on the floor, pressing his check into the wooden panels with a triumphant grin on his face.  At the sound of her voice, Seb instantly released his hold on Arthur and scrambled to his feet, looking at his mother who was standing in the doorway with her hands upon her hips.

“I....”

“Seb kept hitting me because I called his ‘ _friend’_ a creep.” 

“Hey you were the one who swung at my face.”

“You bloody well-”

“Boys if you want to throw punches then there is a punch bag hanging in the garage. Arthur watch your language.” The boys apologized for their actions as she held up her hands to stop the bickering.  All of them knew that if their father was around then none of this would be happening, their father was a strict, no-nonsense military man who would deal out severe punishments if they so much as put a toe out of line. But they were far away from their father now and although their respect for their mother ran deep within their veins, she was looser than her husband.

Retreating back up to his room, Sebastian flopped down onto his bed. It was odd to think that Jim had been sat here no even an hour ago, silent as he scribbled down his notes. Pushing his textbooks with one hand Sebastian moved to sprawl over the crumpled duvet. Jim had told him in a clipped tone that he would probably return next Friday in order to continue copying those notes. Seb couldn’t help but smile.

And next Friday came faster than either of them expected.  Seb found himself sitting at his windowsill adamantly waiting until he saw Jim making his way up the street.  When he saw Jim’s slight figure walking up his driveway Sebastian fled away from the window, briefly tapping his hands against the wall as he considered turning the jazz music he was listening to at almost full volume either off or down but then decided against it when the doorbell rang.

Luckily Arthur had disappeared round a friend’s house for the evening so Seb had the house to himself for a while.  Opening the door he greeted Jim with the customary one word ‘hey’ as Jim slid passed him into the hallway.

“You listen to Louis Armstrong.” Jim stated with a hint of surprise. Sebastian shrugged; jazz wasn’t a stereotypical music taste of someone his age but nevertheless it was all he listened to.

“Yes, are you a fan?” Dear God he was making small talk with Jim, it was a totally alien concept yet one Seb was completely comfortable with. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as Jim followed him up the stairs and into his bedroom.

“I’m familiar with him but I wouldn’t say I was a fan.” Jim said, almost distantly as he settled himself on the edge of Seb’s bed, looking at Seb with large calculating eyes which made Seb feel like he was some kind of puzzle which needed to be figured out. 

“I can turn it off if you want.” Jim shook his head, unzipping his bag and tipping the continence out onto the bed.

“No it’s fine, it’s....nice,” Seb made no attempt to hide the tiny lopsided smile which tugged at the corner of his lips.  Jim stared at him blankly for a moment before clearing his throat and hastily looking down to his textbooks.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A part of Jim wanted to hate Seb. He wanted to hate him so much; he had all the right to after all, what made Seb any different from anyone else in the world? Jim wanted to hate him for being friendly, for helping him, for not being like Jim had previously calculated him to be like. But he couldn’t find it within himself to hate Seb, for all he reasons listed. Seb was forever changing.  As soon as Jim thought he had his personality pinned he would go and twist them into something new, add another element to the equitation to throw both sides of the scale off balance. It was frustrating. It was annoying. It was terribly human of him.

Returning home to an empty house after spending little over an hour and a half at Seb’s house, Jim dumped his bag on the floor and stuck a microwave meal in the oven for twenty minutes. He was feeling too lazy to cook for himself today. Checking the answer phone Jim listened to the sound of his mother’s voice telling him that she and his father were held up at the lab and didn’t know when they would be home. The joys of having physics enthusiast as parents was the rather lonely days and nights spent at home.

Retrieve his meal from the oven, Jim sat curled up on his sofa as he spooned hot macaroni cheese into his mouth. No one could miss the sound of Louis Armstrong playing softly from his laptop as he ate. 


	3. A Brief Insight to Guarded Memories

Jim admitted that he really rather liked going round Seb’s house once a week. Oddly enough Seb was delightful company despite the fact they barely spoke to one another during the time they were together. Nevertheless Jim cast a watchful eye over Sebastian, watching him as he scribbled down essays or solved equations which were elementary in Jim’s mind. This new found interest made progress slow as far as notes were concerned, but Jim needed to observe if he was to place Seb in a definite category instead of having him floating in the grey area. No one was allowed to be left floating, they were either his ally or his enemy and that was that. Surprisingly enough there were not many people who were labelled as allies. Besides, the longer it took to get those notes copied the longer Jim would be able to invite himself round.

It didn’t take long to learn things about Sebastian’s life. Of course, Sebastian didn’t tell and Jim didn’t ask but the clues were obvious in the house. Deductions and guesses were not something Jim was fond of and rarely practised, but sometimes when the research had no reliable or willing source other means had to be taken. Jim had noticed Sebastian’s military background by seeing several photos hanging in his living room of Seb, his brother Arthur and a man Jim assumed was Seb’s father each dressed in military or cadet uniforms. It would explain the impeccable neatness which was maintained throughout the house. Through the post gathering on the kitchen countertop Jim learnt that although Sebastian’s father did not live with the family (such information was well known throughout the whole student body due to Sebastian’s high status diplomatic father) but Sebastian’s mother appeared to still be married to her distant husband. Jim doubted that any of the letters were from Mr Moran which probably meant that relationships in the family were strained. For Seb himself; he still remained something of a mystery. His taste for jazz and literature was obvious from the state of his room, but he was guarded behind that friendly smile.

For now however Jim was happy enough sitting on Seb’s bed. When half five came along Jim started to gather his things, scooping his books into his bag and slipping on his shoes. He even had the courteously to slot Seb’s text books back not their respected shelf. Seb was lost somewhere in the house as Jim jogged down the stairs to fetch his jacket from the hanger and leave without saying goodbye.

“Jim” pausing as he slipped his arm into his jacket, Jim glanced over his shoulder to see Seb hovering in the doorway to the kitchen. He was picking at the hem of his grey hoody as he hesitated.

“Seeing as my brother and my mum are out for the evening, I was wondering if you’d like to stay for dinner....if you’re not expected home or anything?” Jim blinked. He had never been invited out; he had never really had any friends ever in his life so the innocent question stunted him. A part of Jim’s mind wanted to lie and say he was wanted at home. But the sight of Seb, biting his lip slightly as his brown eyes stared directly in his direction made Jim hesitate when answering. He couldn’t help but feel drawn to Seb. Besides, no one would be home and Seb’s company was the nice kind.

“Yeah okay.” Seb beamed at him and Jim felt an unusual feeling in the pit of his stomach as he dumped his things at the foot of the stairs. The kitchen was a large open space with sliding doors looking out onto the back garden and glass fronted cabinets on the walls. Jim took a seat on the bar stool, leaning his folded arms on the countertop as he watched. Seb seemed perfectly adapted to cooking for himself, singing under his breath as he fried chicken and vegetables in Tia sauce and navigated his way smoothly around the kitchen.

“Tai curry with noodles, my speciality.” Seb said cheerily as he dumped a plate in front of him and slid into the bar stool opposite. It tasted good, not perfect but it was better than any of the microwave meals Jim would have been eating if he had gone home. The silence which passed between them made Jim squirm as he made an effort to look anywhere that wasn’t in Seb’s direction.

“So, I’ve almost finished copying out your notes.” Jim was sure he had imagined the look of disappointment that flickered across Sebastian’s face, only to disappear as soon as it had come.

“Great...that’s great. Not that it’s been bad having you around or anything but I guess it’s a good thing.” Jim couldn’t help but smile slightly at Seb uncharacteristic bumbling before dipping his head to scoop more noodles in his mouth in an attempt to hide it.   
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Seb, hey Seb you long- legged bastard wait up!” Seb smirked before stopping and turning, waiting for the shorter boy who chased after him to catch up

“It’s not my fault your stumpy little legs can’t keep up Markus.” Markus was one of Seb’s closest friends and probably the only one out of all of them who he could stand. He was the tiny, yet the best cross-country runner the school had with a mop of curly black hair and the strongest Irish accent Seb had ever come across. He was rude and brash and the kind of person who just didn’t care about anything in life.

“So, did you hear about Carl’s party in two weeks?” Markus said, patting his shoulder as he fell into stride. Seb scowled slightly, looking down at his feet as he walked.   
“No, but who plans a party two weeks in advance anyway.”

“Yeah well, apparently his parents are going on some long weekend somewhere in Cork meaning that his house and his alcohol cabinet are up for grabs. It’s an open party so you were bound to hear about it eventually, unless, Carl is still a bit sour about what happened last time hey.” The nudges delivered to ribs did nothing to stop the sudden churning in Sebastian’s gut. The shame still burned whenever house parties were mentioned.

“And it’s for that reason that I probably won’t be going.” Seb huffed, pushing Markus away from his side with one hand only to have the little Irish boy spring back against him.   
“Ah don’t be a stick in the mud, you were off your head and didn’t know what you were doing and from what I’ve heard you didn’t do half bad so I don’t know why you’re so touchy about it.”

“Just let it drop Markus, please.” Markus held both hands up in surrender and they walked in silence through the park. Sebastian’s route home was a long one, mainly because he took a detour through the park in order to walk to the corner shop which Markus lived above before following the river home. It was also a route he didn’t mind taking in silence, which was hard considering his company was a chatterbox and could talk for the whole of Ireland and more. In contrast to this, Sebastian thought of Jim. Jim who was as silent and only spoke when he saw the need to and only if you were worth the time. Seb thought it was funny how they lived so near to each other yet hardly ever crossed paths on their commutes but then again they hardly crossed paths anywhere but in the science department and at Seb’s doorstep.

“Hello, earth to Sebastian Moran!”

“Hm, sorry mate I was just thinking about something, what were you saying?” Seb stuttered as he became aware of Markus calling his name and waving his hand in front of his eyes. Markus scowled at him before repeating himself

“I said, what’s it like sticking next to that prick in Chemistry? I tried to save you a seat but Miles and his big ass beat you too it.”

“You mean Jim?” Seb asked with an edge to his voice. He could feel the sudden flare of heat the words brought to him, making his hand curl into a fist.

“On first name terms with the loser are you?” Markus was giving him a look which Seb couldn’t quite pinpoint. He shrugged dismissively, adjusting the shoulder strap of his bag.

“He’s fine, you guys shouldn’t give him such a hard time.” Markus laughed, clapping his hands as if he had heard a spectacular joke. Placing a hand over Sebastian’s chest Markus looked up at him with his mouth half open and his eye lids cast low

“Does he want you Seb? Has he promised to suck your cock if you make the bullies go away?”

“Piss off.” Sebastian snarled, pushing Markus away from him and picking up the pace. He could feel his heart slamming against his rib cage as he became flustered and angry all at the same time. Suddenly he wanted to get away.

“Come on Seb stop being so defensive.” Called Markus as he jogged to catch him up but Seb didn’t stop, he hitched up his bag and kept on walk, eyes set firmly ahead of him.

“I don’t know what he’s done to you Seb” Seb could still hear Markus’ voice as he walked away “But your new found feelings for him aren’t good for anyone”   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Seb’s friends all things in common. They were all considered popular amongst the student body and they all exceeded in some type of sport. Markus was one of the schools best male cross country runners, Carl was one of the schools best swimmers, Finley was a fine rugby player and his twin brother Miles a wonderful football striker ... but from Jim’s research he was yet to find the sport Sebastian excelled in.

Jim seriously doubted that a healthy teenage boy with a strong military background would be allowed to sit on his ass at home all day. And if Seb’s build which had all the girls swooning was anything to go by, Jim was certain that Seb had some secret sport he was keeping well hidden from the average student body. However Jim wasn’t just an average student and he made it his business to find out every detail he could grasp about Seb. That was the problem Jim had; when he found an object of interest he had a burning desire to know everything single little thing about it. That current object was Sebastian Moran.

Friday came quicker than usual and Jim found himself standing on Seb’s doorstep like he had countless times before. He noticed that the dead plant had been replaced in the pot next to the door, the stems of which were only just poking through the soil. The door opened and Seb’s younger brother Arthur stood in the doorway. Although Jim hadn’t spoken to Arthur much there was a mutual sense of approval which ran between them, something which Seb had played a hand in no doubt.

“Seb’s in the garage, go straight through.” Jim nodded and said thank you as Arthur let him in and shut the door behind him. Walking through the hallway and into the kitchen, Jim slid the unlocked glass doors which opened out onto the garden. What Seb’s family fondly called a garage was more of a large shed which sat at the bottom of their garden. Although Jim had seen it and Seb had pointed it out several times, Jim had never actually been inside it.

Easing the wooden door open, Jim poked his head around the doorframe. His eyes widened and he would deny the hot flare which rocketed up his spine. Seb was there, dressed only in a pair of white shorts which came down to his knees and a battered pair of trainers. His naked back faced towards Jim, droplets of sweat rolling over the lightly tanned skin and the muscle which flexed beneath the surface. Jim dropped his gaze to look at Seb’s legs. He was poised on the balls of his feet, the muscles of his calves firm and he hopped from side to side. A sharp hissing sound followed by a small grunt in the back of Seb’s throat sounded every time he threw a strong jab towards the punch back which swung furiously from its hook in the ceiling. Jim founds his eyes drifting back upwards towards Seb’s thighs which were hidden under the swishing fabric of his shorts, but the fabric stretched perfectly over his ass-   
Jim snapped his gaze away, trying to fight the flaming blush which threatened to stain his cheeks. He shifted uncomfortably , biting his bottom lip. Well at lease he had finally found Seb’s signature sport.

“You kept your boxing talent quiet.” Jim was pretty sure he had only whispered the statement, but from the way Sebastian reeled, twisting sharply on his toes Jim might as well have shouted the statement. Seb gaped at him, bright orange gum shield hanging between his lips, hands clad in large red boxing gloves dangling at his side with an adorable wide eyed expression on his face. His hair was in disarray and droplets of sweat gathered on his forehead and Jim had to resist the urge to drop his gaze and eye up Seb’s bare chest.   
Finally Seb sprouted a dazzling smile, looking almost shark like as his teeth kept a firm grip on the gum shield. The image almost had Jim choking and he had no idea why. Seb spat out his gum shield into his gloves and dropped it onto the table before rubbing his gloved hands together almost nervously.

“I guess I did... there’s not exactly a club I can go to at school and I don’t want to punch someone’s face in unless I have to.” Seb was as good humoured as ever as he undid the Velcro of his wrist strap using his teeth. Jim averted his gaze, afraid that his cheeks were flushing despite his efforts.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to greet you, I got a little too...engaged.” Seb wiped his face with a towel and pulled on a grey t-shirt which fit him snugly. Jim shrugged.

“I’ve been here enough time, I’m sure I can handle myself.”

“Of course, c’mon let’s finish up those notes” Seb looked like he was about to reach out and wrap his arm around Jim’s shoulder, but instead he dropped it awkward, carrying his boxing gear under one arm as he opened the door. Jim wandered behind Seb as they walked back down towards the house, trying not to return his gaze to other’s behind and..... dear God where had all these hot flushes come from?

“So what have you go left to copy?” Seb asked once they were back inside his bedroom. Jim noticed that Seb had change his duvet cover from dark blue to white and that the stack of books besides the book shelf had grown taller by a considerable amount. Seb’s school uniform was piled in a heap on the fall instead of draped over the back of the chair like it normally would be; Jim wondered what had started the change in habit.

“I’ve just got to copy your ‘Of Mice and Men’ character notes and then I’m finished.” Jim said, guarding his voice so that the disappointment he felt didn’t show. Slipping down onto the bed Jim watched as Seb went straight towards his clothes and started hanging them on the back of the chair like always, obviously the lack of neatness had been a blip in the routine. Seb nodded, picking up his English book from off his desk and tossing it towards the bed.

“If you want a copy of the book then say.”

“I didn’t think we were allowed to take the copies home.”

“We weren’t, I have my own copy which my mum is currently burrowing. Thankfully reading it in class wasn’t the first time I had read the book.”

Jim nodded, flipping his own exercise book open in his lap so he could start copying. He glanced up every now and again to watch as Seb sat in his chair, feet up on the desk with a notebook leant against his legs as he scribbled. Once or twice Seb had caught him looking and Jim had hastily slammed his pupils downwards and fought against the churning in his stomach. He felt he would be sick, but the feeling never travelled up his gullet. A part of him wished he would throw up so that he would have an excuse to get out and go home and ignore the strange unnerving feeling he had been stuck with ever since the indecent in the shed.

Jim found he couldn’t concentrate on the work. Instead he channelled his gaze towards Seb’s bookcase, scanning the spines and eyeing up the titles. A lot of them Jim had never read or heard of, but the classic such as ‘Catcher in the Rye’ and ‘Frankenstein’ has more than a single shelf dedicated to housing their battered covers.

“Which one is your favourite?” The question escaped before Jim had ever thought it through. Why the hell was he even asking, he could have found that one out just by examining the state and the positions of the books. Seb looked up from his notebook, following Jim’s gaze towards he bookcase.

“Oh ....oh man that’s a hard one.” Seb got up and climbed onto the bed besides Jim, rising on his knees so that he could look at the books more closely.   
“If anyone asked me I guess I would go ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ since I am a Oscar Wilde fan.....but in reality I guess it would have to be this one. “ Seb rose up high on his knees and reached to the very top shelf of the bookcase. He dropped the small book with a faded cover and old stained pages onto the bed. ‘The Water Babies’ by Charles Kingsley lay cover up on the bed. It surprised Jim as he took it in his hands and stroked his thumb over the corner of the pages, he would have expected something along the lines of Hamlet not a children’s story. It appeared that Seb could read his mind since he opened his mouth and started to explain himself.

“It was the only book my father ever read to me. We used to go away every summer to my Nan’s home in Kent when Arthur and I were kids, I guess it was the only time we ever....bonded with our dad and one day he sat us down in the garden and read a few pages a day to us.” Seb shook his head and turn his face away from Jim. “Of course, we never finished it and I was the one who had to read the ending to my brother.”

Seb added the last part bitterly. Jim was certain that Seb hadn’t meant to tell him anything but he couldn’t help but feel oddly pleased. Seb reached out and took a different book from the shelf and held it out for Jim.

“Here, read this one, if it wasn’t for that children book then this one would be my favourite. “ Jim looked at the copy of ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ which was held out to him before taking it. Why was Seb lending him a book? To make up for the insight in his life which Seb had accidentally let slip?

“Thanks.” Said Jim as he slipped the book into his bag.


	4. The Origins of Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes at the end.

Physics was just mathematic in scientific form....or at least it was according to Jim. It was Tuesday, a day when Jim usually stayed behind after school in order to get work done and to avoid his parents, who would be home for several hours before disappearing for the night shift at the lab. His mother was the head of astronomy down at the university and often spent her nights stargazing with her loyal husband ever present at her side. When Jim and his brothers were younger they would often accompany their parents down at the lab since they were not old enough to be left alone all day and night; this naturally fuelled their love for stars, physics and mathematics.

But as soon as Jim’s eldest brother Shawn had come to a suitable age, the three Moriarty brothers had been left at home and the presence of their parents became more of a ghost than a figure head. But now with both his brothers gone, Jim was alone and saw no reason to establish any bond between his parents which should have been formed long before now.

Sitting at one of the corner tables in the library, lost between the breaking bookcases and old computers, Jim flicked his thumb over the corner of the book in his hand. He hadn’t actually started reading ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ but the book still travelled alongside him wherever he went. Often Jim just played with the idea of Seb reading the book over and over again, chewing on his bottom lip like he always did when he was lost in literature. Jim smiled slightly to himself at the image of Seb’s lips coming away reddened and swollen when he shut the book cover.

Thinking of Seb always bought an unfamiliar fluttering sensation in the pit of Jim’s stomach.

Looking at the clock to see that the time was almost 5’o’clock, Jim swept his things into his bag and breezed out of the library. He would take the back route over the bridge home in order to avoid the mass of people who would take a short cut through the park. Jim didn’t mind taking the longer route, it often gave him a chance to buy whatever meal he was considering having that evening as he walked through town.

Walking across the empty campus, Jim took a short cut through the sports block which opened out onto the back entrance. The sports block always smelt of fresh rubber and body odour and the changing rooms would always be fogged with too much deodorant spray. Sport was not something Jim enjoyed and was prone to skipping his PE lessons by ‘accidentally’ engrossing the head of mathematics in an intellectual argument on some theory or another. Manipulating in order to get the advantage was something Jim had always been good at.   
“Well look who it is, aren’t you a bit lost Jimmy boy” Jim paused in his stride at the familiar sound of Carl Powers’ voice echoing through the corridor. He swallowed, not feeling afraid but bracing himself for whatever torment the boy was about to give him. Sometimes it would vary, a bit of name calling here, the stealing of equipment there, sometimes even a rough shove into the wall or doorway on the odd occasion. But this time when Jim turned around to see Carl flanked by twin brothers Finley and Miles, he couldn’t help but feel like something new was about to happen.

“Or were you hoping to find Seb here” Carl teased as he advanced on Jim. Jim didn’t move, he knew that the door was only a quick run up the corridor but running was cowardly and it would mostly likely warrant a chase. Carl was inches away from him now, the heat of his freshly exercise body making Jim uncomfortable as the smell of chlorine filled his nose. Carl leered at him, shoving Jim’s shoulders hard. Jim staggered backwards be caught his balance before he ended up bottom down on the cool tiled floor.

“You want Seb don’t you, you want to feel his cock just like all the other girls you great big fag.” Jim felt a jolt of heat at the base of his spine and he ears felt like they were on fire. He refused to even let the image form in his mind. Instead, he stepped forward, shoving Carl’s chest as hard as he could.

“The only person who wants to feel someone’s cock inside them here is you.” The words tumbled from Jim’s lips twisted with pent up bitterness. He felt a surge of power at the look of surprise on Carl’s face, not a lot of people stood up to Carl and the idea of Jim Moriarty standing up to him was probably humiliating.

The twin who stood behind Carl exchanged glances as Carl’s face twisted with dark rage. Carl roared and all but charged at Jim, grabbing a fist full of his collar and slamming him against the fall. It was one of those moments when Jim didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. Finley and Miles had a firm grip on his arms and were holding him tightly against the wall. Jim thrashed, throwing his body weight only to get slammed back against the wall. His heart was pounding against his ribs as panic filled his veins. Jim was only human after all; he felt the panic and the fear even if he tried to convince himself otherwise.

“You little fucker, you should have kept that goddamn mouth of yours shut.” With that Carl swung. Pain erupted in Jim’s jaw as a fist collided. His lip caught on the track of his braces, tearing the inside of his cheek and gushing blood into his mouth. Jim struggled against the hold, trying to break away and run for it, but a knee to the gut stopped him. The wind gushed from his lungs and Jim doubled over, gasping in pain. The fists continued until Jim hung limp in his captors’ arms, exhausted and no longer wanting to fight in vain.   
Suddenly the hold on his arms vanished and Jim collapsed to the floor in a heap. His body ached with pain as he shifted onto his knees, holding his middle and watching drops of blood fall from his mouth. Laughter echoed through the corridor and Carl spat at him.

“Pathetic.” Carl snarled as he walked away. Jim lay there on the floor, eyes closed against the silence until he was certain Carl wasn’t going to come back for more. The corridor remained empty, no one came to his aid and Jim was more aware of his solitude than ever before.   
__________________________________________________________________________________

Seb hadn’t been at school on Monday or Tuesday. He had had the joy of spending an extended weekend in London paying his father a family visit. They had received a letter a week ago from Seb’s father stating that he wanted his family to come down and meet him so that he could show them around the new family home he had just bought. Of course it wasn’t a family home since it only housed Seb’s father and whatever woman was filling his lonely nights. They were all aware of it, Seb’s parents’ marriage had been falling apart for years and the only reason they remained together was for the liberty of reputation.

“I don’t see why we have to go, it’s not like he has ever come to visit us.” Seb had huffed bitterly as they took the tube into central London. Arthur was sleep; head leant on Seb’s shoulder as he snored softly. Seb’s mother sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Because he asked us too Sebastian and like it or not he is still your father.” Seb scowled but made no effort to reply. He may be his father biologically but a fat lot of good he did playing the role.

Nevertheless, he returned home to Ireland midday Tuesday and was more than ready to return to normal routine. Dumping his suitcase onto his bed, Seb flopped down with a sigh, sinking into the duvet and smoothing his hand over the fabric. His hand skimmed against something tattered. Cracking open an eyelid, Seb saw Jim’s English book lying where he had left it on Friday.

Taking hold of the book, Seb flicked through the pages, taking in Jim’s feminine, loopy handwriting and the splatters of ink from that leaky fountain pen he insisted on using. Seb had always liked watching Jim write, he liked how his brow furrowed in concentration and how his large eyes narrowed.

Seb knew he had to return it to Jim, and after a quick workout in the shed and a brief shower Seb found himself strolling up the driveway to Jim’s house. It was almost 6 and the night was drawing in yet there were still no cars in Jim’s driveway and the lights were off. For a moment Seb thought that Jim might not be home, but he knew Jim wasn’t exactly a social butterfly and he was probably just hiding away somewhere deep within the house. Ringing the doorbell was normally a good indication of whether someone was home or not. It took a while before eventually Seb could hear movement on the other side of the door.

“Who is it?” Jim voice sounded rough and muffled by the wood.

“It’s Seb.”

There was a pause.

“What do you want Seb?”

“You left your English book at my house, open the door will you it’s fucking freezing out here.”

“You should have put a jacket on then.” Jim replied. Seb scowled for a bit, wondering how Jim knew that he was just stood there in a t-shirt and jeans but then realised that he was probably looking straight at him through the door peephole.

“Yeah well I didn’t think I would be having a conversation with you through a door” Seb lifted his gaze to look directly at the glass peephole in the centre of the door. “Will you let me in please Jim?”

There was another, longer pause and for a moment Seb thought that Jim had just walked away from the door without telling him. Just as Seb was about to turn away and leave the exercise book under the door mat, the sound of the chain lock sliding back met his ears, followed by the creaking of the door hinges as the door opened.   
The door had only opened a crack, but Seb took the invitation. Pushing it open further, Seb peered in to see Jim retreating down the dark hallway. Light was flooding out of an open doorway which Jim turned into and Seb hastily followed after him.

The kitchen was small and bland with white walls and black tiling, a round table sat in the middle of the room piled high with paper and scientific test equipment, Jim’s green school blazer hanging over the back of the single chair. Jim stood with his back to him, hands pressed against the counter top edge. The counters were scattered with boxes of ibuprofen and steri-strips and a flannel wet and stained with blood. Seb eyed the items with concern, daring to step slightly closer to Jim.

“Jim.... Jim what happened?” Jim sighed, hanging his head before he turned around. His was patchy with purple bruises. His bottom lip was swollen and bleeding, his cheek gashed and pooling with blood. The skin around his left eye was also swollen and stained purple and red from bruising. He looked miserable, eyes dull cast downwards.   
In a moment the worry turned to anger as Seb closed the gap between them so that he stood mere inches away from Jim. He placed his hands on Jim’s shoulders.

“Who did this....tell me who did this?” Seb demanded, eyes dancing all over Jim’s face. Jim turned his face away, closing his eyes and looking exhausted.

“Seb, it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter! Jim have you seen yourself? Of course it bloody well matters!” Jim turned his face back toward Seb, looking at him blankly.

“It was Carl wasn’t it.” The statement met no reply. Seb ground his teeth as fury gripped his limps. He let go of Jim and delved his fingers through his hair. “I’ll kill him; I’m going to break his jaw for this, I fucking swear-”

“Seb please not now.” Jim sighed exasperated, leaning back against the counter top and rubbing his forehead. He winced slightly as he fingered the bruising there. Seb channelled his attention back to Jim, placing his hands on his arms softly.

“Here, let me help you.” Seb had had experience with fixing people up, whether it was his brother, his old London friends or himself. They sat down on the kitchen floor, silent as Seb dabbed Jim’s face in the wet flannel. Jim winced now and again; hissing against his will as Seb lightly cleaned the sore spots. Jim looked exhausted, his eyes had trouble staying open and he all put leaned boneless against the cabinet doors.

“You’re not like your so called friends.” Jim croaked weakly, cracking open his good eye as Seb leaned over him, applying the butterfly stitches to his cheek. Seb felt fingers skim over his knee.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t like them very much.” Seb replied watching as Jim’s eye filled with curiously.

“Then why do you associate with them?” Seb shrugged, he didn’t know the answer to the question he asked himself on a regular basis.

“I guess I’ve stuck with them ever since I joined.” Jim rolled his eyes and flinched as he did so.

“Oh please, you are probably one of the most popular guys in our year so don’t even suggest that you have no one else to go to.” Seb wasn’t sure how to answer. He knew he had somehow struck a nerve within Jim’s complicated mind and suddenly he felt ever so guilty. Dropping his hands to the floor, Seb opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a key being interested into the front door lock.

Jim jolted upwards, suddenly filled with alertness. Seb watched as Jim scrambled, gathering together boxes and shoving them into the open medicine cabinet and dumping the flannel in the sink. The front door opened and the sound of footsteps and chatter filled the house. Lights were flicked on in the hallway followed by a slight muffle of complaint over the darkness.

“James what are you doing leaving the house in darkness, we are no longer living in the Stone Age.” A woman’s shrill, Irish voice sounded followed by the clop of heels as Jim’s mother walked into the kitchen. Jim had flicked up the hood of the jumper he was wearing up to hide his face.

Jim’s mother froze in her tracks at the sight of Seb kneeling on her kitchen floor. She blinked as if she was dreaming. Jim’s mother was a short, stern faced, skinny woman with glasses and dark brown hair which was tied back into a bun. She seemed absolutely shocked by Seb’s presence and Seb was certain that she had probably never seen another boy apart from her son in her life.

“Hello, um, James could you tell me who this is?”

“A boy from one of my classes’ mother, I study with him and he is simply returning a book to me.” Jim said as his father also walked into the room, his facial expression matching that of his wife’s as they saw Seb sitting there. Jim didn’t dare raise his face just in case he revealed his bruising.

Seb rose to his feet, reaching his hand out to shake whosever hand he met first.

“Sebastian Moran.” He shook hands with Jim’s parents who suddenly beamed at him as if he was a miracle.

“A pleasure to meet you Sebastian, will you be staying for dinner?”

“No mother he was just leaving.” Jim injected just as Seb opened his mouth to say something. Seb looked down as Jim who was looking pointedly at the floor. Seb nodded.

“Uh yes, I’m sorry but you must excuse me.” Jim’s parents nodded, stating once against that it had been a delight to meet him as they escorted him to the door. Seb only wished he could have said goodbye to Jim before the front door closed behind him.  
__________________________________________________________________________________

Jim didn’t come to school on Wednesday. Seb sat down on his own at the empty lab desk and slid his bag under the table, keeping his things to his side of the desk as always despite Jim’s absence. He even became irritated as one of the many girls in the chemistry class seized the empty space, thrusting their boobs out towards him and flirting outrageously. Seb never understood girls interest towards him, he had never shown a single bit of interest towards them so he didn’t understand their attention .

Seb spent the rest of the day avoiding his friends. Seb knew that if he saw Carl’s smug little face then he was swipe that smirk straight off it.....he was going to do it anyway just not on school grounds where he could get excluded. Instead he would corner him by the river and break his nose.

And that was exactly what he did. By the time the end of school bell went, Seb hurried over the sports field and down the bank onto the park. It was a short cut that few people knew mainly because they weren’t allowed on the sports field without teacher’s supervisions, but Seb had never been one for authority and had frolicked over there more times than he cared to count. He was down by the river just as kids in the younger years passed in large, jittering groups. It only took twenty minutes until Seb could hear Carl’s loud voice. Seb stepped out from behind the tree he was leant against.

“Fucking hell Moran what you trying to do? Frighten the shit out of me?” Carl exclaimed, flanked by Markus who was looking bored as hell.

“Something like that.” Seb shrugged hands sliding out of his trouser pockets. Carl laughed.

“Where you been today anyway? I’m sure your father wouldn’t be impressed if he heard.” Seb hated it when Carl made comments on his father; the sod only knew what his parents read in the papers yet spoke as if he was on first name terms with the guy.

“Actually I had some work to do.” Carl laughed again and anger flared in Seb’s system.

“Get that Markus, Seb’s turning into a nerd; I guess that’s what happens when you’re suck sitting next to that fag Moriarty three times a week.” Carl nudged Markus in the ribs and Seb scowled. Markus was looking between Seb and Carl, giving Seb a warning look.

“Talking about him, hey Seb did you hear what I did to Jimmy?”

“Carl.” Markus warned.

“Yeah I heard.” Seb snarled, taking a step towards Carl. “And I have only one thing to say about it.”

With that Seb delivered a sharp, strong jab to Carl’s face. He felt Carl’s nose cave under his fist and blood spurted onto his knuckle. Carl howled, staggering and falling onto his ass in the dirt, hands flying to his now broken nose.

“Seb stop!” Markus shouted, trying to grab hold of Seb but he was shrugged off. Instead Seb moved into a crouch, taking a fist full of Carl’s shirt and pulling him so that their faces were inches apart.

“If you lay a finger on Jim ever again and I find out, then I’ll make you wish you were never born Powers.” Seb snarled, letting go of Carl and shoving him back down into the dirt.   
Markus stood to the side, staring at Seb.

The two boys glared at each other before Markus shook his head, helping Carl who was cursing rapidly to his feet and steering him away.   
__________________________________________________________________________________

Seeing Carl Power’s crocked and swollen nose sent a jolt of pleasure through Jim’s heart when he finally returned to school the following week. He passed Carl in the corridor and smirked when he saw Seb’s name written all across his bruised face.

As far as Jim’s face was concerned, he was still looking a little worse for wears. The swelling of his lip can gone down, the bruising round his eyes was now a sickly yellow and neat scabs had formed over the gash of his cheek, but at least the light had returned to his eyes and he wasn’t aching all other. Jim had made up some bullshit about playing rugby when his mother noticed the state of his face and was surprised when she bought it hook line and sinker.

“I see you made a marked improvement on Carl’s face.” Jim said as he slid into his seat next to Sebastian. Mr Hopkins was late to chemistry class the class was buzzing with conversation.

Seb smiled at him.

“I told you I would break his nose for you.”

“I believe you swore to break his jaw.”

“Well, I’ll work to improve my aim next time if that would please you.”

Jim smiled

“That would please me very much”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I realise that bully, especially homophobic bullying can be triggering for some people. However it is something I was asked to address in this fic so there it is. Also it has been anti-bully week this week so it seems very fitting. If you are being bullied then please please realise that you are never alone, please talk to someone even if it’s just a friend or whoever but don’t suffer in silence.


	5. The Start of Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Hopefully you have been enjoying your holiday session as much as I have and take this as my belated gift from me to you.

“Hey Seb!”

“What do you want Art!” Seb snapped, spitting out his gum shield and twisting sharply on the heel of his feet.  Arthur stood in the open door way to the shed , loudly chewing on his ever present chewing gum.

“Markus is here, he’s in the living room, looked pretty pissed off.”

Seb was half expecting a visit was Markus and was surprised that he hadn’t had it sooner. They hadn’t spoken to each other since the incident in the park....in fact Seb hadn’t really spoken to any of his usual friends since then. He hadn’t been alone. As Jim said, Seb had many friends and it was easy for him to drift from one group to another, especially when a lot of people didn’t particularly like Carl and found it pretty amusing to see him sporting such a newly constructed (or deconstructed as the case may be) nose.  Nodding, Seb unstrapped his boxing gloves and slipped his hoody over his vest top.

“Alright, but stop swearing, thirteen year olds shouldn’t have such a filthy mouth.” Seb said, ruffling his younger brother’s mop of dark hair. Arthur scowled and batted Seb’s hand away.

“Yeah because you were totally Saint Sebastian when you were thirteen.”

“No, if I was Saint Sebastian I would be tied to some pole or tree with a body filled with arrows, however, I am somewhat of a God amongst mortal.”  

They walked together through the house, Seb curling and uncurling his fist and tapping then against his thigh. He wasn’t nervous, playing with the hem of his clothing was a nervous habit, nor was he preparing for a fight. Seb had no intention of hurting Markus; they were friends, close friends at that but he would never understand....he would never understand what it was like to be around Jim Moriarty.

Markus was sat in the living room, taking his usual seat to the right side of the sofa. Seb would usually curl up to the left of the sofa or sprawl out on the floor depending on the circumstance.  Arthur flopped down into the beanbag under the window and Seb glanced at him. He wasn’t too comfortable with Arthur being in the same room to witness the doubtless argument, but telling him to leave would be too dramatic and he would find out about it eventually.

Markus looked up at Seb, acting as if he saw a familiar stranger in the doorway. For all of Markus’ blunt attitude he couldn’t half be dramatic sometimes. 

“Look Seb I’m not going to give you any bullshit.” Seb scowled, it was such a typical way of starting an argument.  “But what the fuck was that in the park?”

Arthur took his chance to pipe up, sitting upright and looking intently between Markus and Seb.

“Wait what did Seb do?”

“He broke Carl Power’s nose.”

“You broke Carl Power’s nose!”

“Will you just shut up Arty!”

Seb snapped, glaring at his brother momentarily before turning back to Markus.

“Do I really have to explain it, or are you just that blind. You heard what he did; I bet he told you with that smug look on his face and everything and you did shit all about it.  Well I’m not sorry for having a pair of balls.”

“A pair of balls!” Markus stood up “Don’t get all self righteous Seb I know what this is all about. This is about him isn’t it. If the same thing happened and you did know him then you wouldn’t have done a thing, you never did before and the only reason you did it then was because of Jim fucking Moriarty.”

Seb rolled his eyes.

“Oh please, since when have you ever liked Carl? You’ve said that you would gladly punch him in the face plenty of times.”

“What the fuck is going on Seb? First of all you get defensive over Jim and the next you punching your own friend – no matter how much of a bastard he is- in the face.”

“Wait” The two boys turned when Arthur spoke up, sitting on the edge of the beanbag with hands clasped over his knees.  “This is Jim as in, the guy who comes round every Friday for revision Jim?” 

If there had ever been a perfect moment for Seb to mercilessly ram his brother’s face into the wall it would be now.  Markus’ eyebrows shot into his curls in disbelief.

“Well this is a revelation.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you Markus.”

“Don’t you see Seb! Don’t you see what he is doing? You’re not his friend Seb; everyone knows that he doesn’t do friends. He’s just playing with you, turning you away from you us!”

Seb laughed almost bitterly, shaking his head.

“It has to be Jim’s fault doesn’t it. You know what Markus, stopping being so vain because it isn’t Jim who is turning me away from you, it’s Carl and Finley and Miles and _you_ who are turning me away from yourselves.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Arthur said you had an argument with Markus.”  Seb looked up from book and slide his headphones around his neck.  His mother lent against the kitchen counter as the kettle boiled, looking at Seb for an explanation.  The idea of Seb and Markus arguing was absurd considering they had been friends for two years and had never fallen out once.

“He said it was about Jim... is there anything you want to tell me about you and Jim” She prompted, crossing her arms as Seb didn’t reply.  Seb sighed. He knew Arthur would tell on him and he knew how the following conversation would run.

“We’re just....friends I guess, I don’t know. He comes round to revise and we sit together in chemistry.”  Seb shrugged looking back down at his book and hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

“Come on Seb, I’m you mother, I know when something is on your mind... there’s no need to be embarrassed.” Seb’s mother cooed, pouring out two mugs of tea. Seb bite his lip and tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed, they had talked about things like this before   and it wasn’t like his father was anywhere near to overhear it.

“I just....he is different. He is quiet and strange but everyone hates him. I know I probably shouldn’t but I want to be his friend, I want to be...” Seb trailed off, looked down at the counter top as he felt his cheeks flame.

“I really like mum, but he’s not really the type.”

“Oh sweetheart I understand.” Seb’s mother cooed sympathetically, placing the hot cup of tea down on the countertop and placing her hand upon her eldest son’s cheek.  “Sometimes we have to work hard for something to get the real reward.”

Seb smiled softly. Talking to his mother about these things was a big relief; she was the only one who knew that he was gay ever since he had some home distressed and drunk from a party a couple of months ago. Although Sebastian knew that his mother had always suspected, she was sharp witted after all and a lot more understanding than his father ever was.  But this time, Seb couldn’t help but feel that this was a fight which he could not win.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Hey Jim.” Jim only just contained the startled jump which almost propelled him from his chair.  Seb’s voice was the last thing he suspected to interrupt his reading as he spent the lunch break huddled in the corner of the library. Usually he would be studying complex mathematic theory or astrology but today it wasn’t the heavy textbooks spread out with notepaper. Today is was The Importance of Being Earnest leant against his drawn up knees. He had finally stopped fantasying with the idea of Seb reading it and allowed himself to turn the front cover.

That was two nights ago and he had almost finished the book.

“I see that you’re reading that book, are you enjoying it.” Seb said, not explaining why he was here or how he had found Jim as he rounded the table and pulled up a second chair.

“What do you want?” Jim asked, snapped the book closed after dogging earring the page. Seb only looked amused but Jim couldn’t bring himself to get properly angry, he felt a warm feeling rise in his stomach like it always did when Seb was around.

A part of Jim knew what it was, but he would never admit it aloud.

“Am I not allowed to indulge in your company?”  Seb teased, leaning back in his chair and leaning his elbow on the back rest. There was something about the look Seb was giving him which had Jim conflicted between saying yes or no.

“Why would you want my company?”

Seb shrugged and Jim fumed inside.  The boy had tones of friends, so why couldn’t he just leave him alone.  Then again, did he want Seb to leave him alone? Really? His company was nice and he was the closest Jim had come to a friend in a long time, maybe even forever.

Seb leaned forward, smiling with a hint teeth. Jim bit down hard on the inside of his cheek.

“Are you free Friday night?” Seb asked, completely avoiding the question and successfully knocking Jim off guard. Jim blinked, confused as to what was going on.  It seemed Sebastian took Jim’s silence as a yes in answer to the question and grinned.

“Do you like pizza?”

“What?”

“I’m asking if you like pizza?”

“Well yes but-”

“Great, I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday night.” Seb said joyfully, quickly scribbling something down on a scrap of paper and slipping it under Jim’s hand. He grinned against before getting up and strolling merrily on his way.

Jim blinked, a little shell socked by the rapid quick fire round of questions. Really he should have been more prepared for the assault of words and mentally he kicked himself.

Had Sebastian just asked him on a date?

Jim gulped and tried to bite back the small, giddy smile with threaten to formed on his lips. 


	6. The Art of Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this so such a long chapter and I haven't actually proof read it properly yet so I'm so sorry about the mistake. I shall alter than in the morning. Anyway Happy New Year, let's start 2012 with a nice bit of teenage flirting.

Jim felt unusually happy that day as he walked home.  He smiled to himself as he turned into the road he lived in, taking the tiny note out from up his sleeve and unrolling it between his fingers for the twentieth time. It was the note Seb had slipped under his hand as he left the library, the note which had all eleven digits  of Seb’s mobile number scrawled on wrinkled paper.  That coupled with the idea of eating pizza with the other on Friday was making Jim feel giddy. Unlocking the front door, still smiling to himself, Jim dumped his bag on the floor and loosened his school tie.

“Hey there little brother.” The smile on Jim’s face rapidly disappears.  Looking up he sees his second oldest brother Gillian sat half way up the staircase, his suitcase and bag piled on the landing behind.  He was home from university for the winter meaning Jim’s usual solitude was being rudely interrupted.

“Aren’t you happy to see your big brother Jimmy?” Gillian said as Jim shrugged off his blazer and loosened his school tie. Gillian was a self-centre, vain man who Jim had never really gotten along with as children. It was Gillian who pushed him down a step and rather rocky hill when the three Moriarty brothers’ went hiking three years ago, a fall which broke Jim’s arm in three places.  As brotherly relationships went, Jim and Gillian had a very strenuous one.

“Not really.” Jim replied, bumping against Gillian’s shoulder as he jogged up the stairs.  Locking himself in his room was always the best way to avoid family members. No doubt Gillian would have all the attention he wanted when their parents returned home, cooing and questioning about life as astrophysics student.

Suddenly Jim’s journey up the stairs was halted. Tumbling forward as a harsh grip wrapped around his ankle and pulled him backwards, Jim’s hands flew out, one grapping onto the banister as the other slammed against the edge of the step to stop his face from smashing into the carpet. Knee’s struck against the steps, sliding out from under him and leaving a nasty carpet burn through the fabric of his trousers.  Hand’s twisted his shoulder so that Jim flipped over onto his back, effetely pinned against the staircase.

“You remember how this works don’t you Jimmy, when I’m here you do what I say when you’re told to do it just like the little bitch you are. Now let’s try this again, are you happy to see your big brother home?”  Jim glared and bit back the cry of pain as his spine bent oddly over the jagged steps.

“Yes, I am overjoyed to see that you’re home.” Jim forced out, forcing a twisted smile onto his face.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Gillian said, patting Jim’s cheek hard before letting the youngest Moriarty up. Jim used the banister to pull himself up onto aching limbs before stomping into his room. Suddenly his day didn’t seem as perfect as it was before.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The night was surprisingly warm for winter as Jim waited on his driveway that Friday night. It had rained earlier on and the drying puddles glowed with amber street lights. Jim stood under the porch light, dressed in black jeans and a thick dark grey jacket which zips up to his throat. The pockets are large and warm for his hands and there’s a hood just in case it rains. Underneath he’s wearing a dark blue V neck t-shirt which fits nicely around his slim middle but not tight enough to act as a second skin.  It had taken him at least an hour to sort out his outfit for the night, Jim was picking when it came to clothes and he had to look perfect even if he wasn’t hell bent on impressing anyone. There was something about having nice clothes and looking nice in them which helped boost his confidence and made him feel a hell load better than those idiots with their baggy trousers hanging halfway down their asses.

Explaining that he was going out for the evening had been interest. Gillian was nosey and controlling and Jim hadn’t been able to slip out of the house unnoticed. He almost did, but he got his timing wrong and just as he reach for the front door handle Gillian had emerged from the kitchen and caught hold of Jim before he could escape.

“I’m going out with a friend.” Jim said quickly as soon as he felt himself being pulled away from the door. Gillian laughed in his face, tightening his grip on his brother’s shoulders.

“People like you don’t have friends.”  The statement stung. Jim scowled

“Yeah well I do, and I’m going to eat some pizza with him and make idiotic conversation about trivial matters and secretly judge his clothing just because I can.” Jim said almost hysterically as he pushed his brother hard in the centre of the chest. Gillian lets go. Jim doesn’t waste time glaring and opens the front door, making sure to slam it as he leaves.

Now he’s sat on the porch, reading updates on his phone and wondering if he should bring an extra ten pounds with him just in case. He’s wondering what time he would be going home. He wonders what the hell he is actually doing out here.

There are footsteps splashing in the puddles and Jim looks up to see Seb walking into the driveway. From what Jim can see he is wear black jeans and a pair of brick coloured girder boots with the lip flopping over the laces. His black jacket is open to show off his blue and red check shirt.  It was average enough, Jim would have to work with him a little but it wasn’t as bad as he was expecting.

“Hey.” Seb says with a warm smile as he comes to a stop just a couple of paces away from the porch.

“Hi.” Jim says, not sure if he should smile or not as he closes the distance between them. They stand side by side for a while, Seb giving Jim the once over. Jim tries not to blush under the scrutiny.

“So...are you hungry?”

This time Jim smiles.  He was starving considering that he forgot to eat at lunch.

“Come on then.” Seb says patting Jim’s shoulder before he started walking again. Jim just stands there for a moment, knowing full well that his brother is probably watching from one of the windows. Still he could quite believe he was doing this. Not that it mattered as he picked up the pace and slotted back into place at Sebastian’s side.

“Where are we going?” Jim asked as Seb led him into town. It was Friday night and people loitered in restaurants and nightclubs, shops closing up and the staff making their way home for the evening.  Some students from their school sat together on the benches under the street lights but they didn’t pay any attention to the two. It seemed that as soon as you changed out of that school uniform you disappeared into the masses of people populating the world.

“You said you liked pizza, and I know a place which does nice but cheap pizza.” Seb replied.

“You assumed that I liked pizza, just like you assumed I would be free tonight.”

“Well here you are, so I guess I assumed correct.” Seb gave Jim a look which  made his insides knot.

“Don’t go making a habit of it.” Jim said back, looking away from Seb and tearing at the lining of his pockets.

“Yes sir.” Teased Sebastian.

Seb led Jim down through the city centre and down towards a selections of buildings which were mainly bars and nightclubs. A piece of plaster board was tied to the metal railings of a set of steps, the faded paint work pointing down to what was probably the basement of the tall, white bricked building. Seb was smiling as he lightly grasped Jim’s arm and pulled him down the metal steps which were still wet from the afternoon’s rain.  The door to the restaurant was surrounded by wall plants weaved around a wooden decorating and crawling up the brick work like serpents.

The restaurant itself was small, dimly lit with a low ceiling. The air was warm and smelt deliously of Italian herbs and dough.  The glass doors at the back look out onto the river, the lights of the city dancing upon the rippling waters.  The walls were not painted, showing the red brickwork and piping which provided the tiny space with heat. There were only a handful of tables, the majority only two seaters whilst some were slightly larger.

One of the waiters led them to a table which had a large candle in the centre, the crimson wax dripping over the wicker holder. Jim hadn’t expected this, he was sure they would have gone to the nearest take-away not a proper restaurant. Then again, considering Seb’s background Jim was certain that he wasn’t short when money was concerned.

“Are you okay?” Seb queried, cocking his head to the side as he shrugged off his jacket. 

“I’m fine.” Jim replied, angry with himself for letting his guard down as he followed Seb in taking off his coat and draping over the back of the chair. He noticed Seb’s eyes scanning over his torso and smirked as a faint blush appeared on other’s cheeks.  

They didn’t speak until the orders had been made, Jim ordering a four cheeses and mushroom whilst Seb went for a meat feast with added basil.  Jim weighed up the situation mentally. Although he had already placed Sebastian in his allies list, he still knew very little about the other and the lack of knowledge was always dangerous.

“Why did you ask me out here tonight?” Jim asked bluntly making sure to look directly at Sebastian.  Seb’s light eyes appeared darker in the candlelight, but they still contained their warmth even when surprised.  

“I wasn’t doing anything, you weren’t doing anything, I thought we could do something together.”

“Why?”

Seb chuckled.

“Because that’s what people do with their friends.”  Luckily the food arrived to hide Jim’s speechlessness. No one had ever considered him their friend and he certainly didn’t consider anyone else to be his. Melted cheese filled the inside of his mouth and sends a jolt of pleasure down his spine. Jim’s love affair was sinful even if it didn’t show on his skinny little frame.

“You haven’t lived in Ireland all your life have you?” Jim asked, ready to give an interrogation to aid his research.

“No, my relatives have but my family and I have only lived here for roughly two years.” 

“Why did you come here?”

“You don’t read the papers do you?” Jim scowled. Of course he read the paper but that didn’t mean he believed anything the black and white print said. Only Sebastian and his family knew the truth behind the words. Seb sighed after he swallowed.

“My father pretty much sent as away. He told us that he was overwhelmed with work and didn’t want us around to distract him. In reality it was because he wanted to bang his sectary without having to creep around my mum.... I guess it didn’t help that I was getting into trouble at school. God forbid a public scandal because the son of a high status diplomat punched the teeth out of some rich snot who called his mum a whore.”

So the father subject was a sensitive topic of conversation.

“I’d rather be here anyway; London isn’t as great as people make it out to be.”  That failsafe, charming smile had returned dismissing any previous signs of anger.  Jim nodded once, taking a bite of a pizza slice and nibbling on the last of the crust. 

Seb looked up and started chuckling, an unusually fond look in his eye. Jim scowled which only made Seb giggle more.

“What?”

“You got a string of cheese right here.” Seb said half laughing, tapping the corner of his mouth to act like a mirror. Jim raises his eyebrows and wipes his tongue along to corner of his mouth to rope the string of cheese back into his mouth.  Seb is still laughing and Jim can’t help but chuckle along with him.

“So you like cheese then?” Jim laughed as Seb gestured to the enormous amount of cheese still left on the final slices of Jim’s pizza.

“I love it, not good for my healthy diet but to be fair to myself it is my _only_ weakness.” Jim was well aware of the way his eye lids lowed and how the smirk on his lips was probably more flirtatious than amused. Seb was more than just looking at Jim’s mouth this time, it was more....staring.

  



Snapping out of it, Seb smiled pushing out of his seat.

“C’mon, I’ll pay the bill.” Jim was about to protest, stating that he could pay for his own meal but Seb had already put his jacket on and was now holding Jim’ jacket out for him. Jim blinked. Standing he turned and slipped his arms into the coat sleeves, Seb pushing the fabric up over his shoulders. The warmth of his hands seeped through the fabric and the touch lasted a little longer than need.

“I can pay for my own meal.” Jim finally protested, buttoning up his coat as he followed behind Sebastian.

“I know you can, that doesn’t mean you have to.” Seb grinned , handing over a couple of folded notes to one of the waiters who asked for the bill.

“Besides.” Seb added as they walked out into the chilly Dublin night. “You can pay for me next time.”

“You’re assuming things again, it’s a dreadful habit my dear.” Seb only smiled as Jim’s side in reply.

The winter night had drawn in fast, the air so cold that it made their breath fog.  Only a few people were filling the night clubs and bars, walking about in short skirts and tight t-shirts., some couples walked hand in hand on their way to the cinema or to booked restaurants. Most of the student who had been gathered on the bench before had dispersed to more secretive locations to do their evenings drinking. 

Jim titled his head head to look at the night sky as they walked silently through the park. The stars could be seen more clearly here, although the city atmosphere prevents them from being seen in full light.  Jim’ eyes were quick to find the lines of constellations, labelling the name of them and some of the main stars with their formation. Years spent looking up through telescopes, studying star charts and maps from various places around the world and even gazing up at the plastic- glow in the dark sticks which were still stuck to his ceiling had fuelled his knowledge and passion for star gazing. Mathematics and astrology were the foundations his life was built upon.

“Orion is one of the easiest constellations to spot in winter.”Jim mused allowed, still looking up with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. 

“Orion? I can’t see it.” Jim rolled his eyes. Stopping on the gravel path, Jim grabbed Seb’s shoulder and turned him anti-clockwise, sliding his hands to his face in order to tilt his head into the right position. Seb being taller made it a little more difficult for Jim to direct him properly, but it would do.

“You see that line of three stars right there, they’re referred to as Orion’s Belt, they’re an asterism within the constellation itself.” Jim said, standing on his tippy-toes so that he could point over Seb’s shoulder.  He didn’t realise that he was gripped onto Seb’s shoulder with his other hand, or that their bodies were touching as he struggled to remain still on the tips of his toes.

“The rest is simple then, these rise up in like a flat bottomed kite shape to make the torso, and the trapezium below the belt makes the skirt. The from Betelgeuse, which is the more reddish star on the shoulder, is the raised arm.  And across from that on the other end of the shoulder, the star known as Bellatrix, is the arm with the bow in. Do you see it?”

Seb was silent as he processed the information. His eyes skimmed the night sky and Jim noted that his light brown hair smelt of kiwi.

“I think so. You certain know your stars.” Jim smiled feeling a flush creep up his neck but luckily his coat was a turtleneck. 

“My mother is an astronomer, my father is a sectary in her department, stars are second nature to me.”  Jim said as they began walking again.

“I thought mathematic was your second nature?” Seb teased, slinging a friendly arm around Jim’ shoulder.  Seb was warm and Jim couldn’t help but nestle into the crook of his arm. 

“Okay maybe stars are third nature to me, the point I’m getting at here is that I’m good with stars.”

“Well I’m good at James Joyce but you don’t see me telling everyone.”

“Modesty, dear Moran, is definitely not something I’m good at.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

It was finally the day of Carl Power’s long awaited house party. The excitement had been rippling through the year ever since Carl had sent the word out. Carl was known for his parties since his parents were rich and had a large liquor cabinet, they even had a hot tub which was always promising when it came to drunken teenage house parties.

From the fact that no one had uttered a word about the party to him, Seb was getting the impression that he wasn’t invited. Every time he walked into a room the buzzing conversation would die down as of Carl’s party was some great big secret. It was surprisingly, considering the damage Seb had done to Carl’s face, but he didn’t mind. House parties weren’t all they were made out to be and frankly Seb didn’t want another load of drunken girls trying to press him up against the wall and get into his pants.

“Aren’t you going to Carl’s party?” Arthur asked as Seb walked through the door that evening. He had accompanied his mother food shopping and was now lugging straining plastic tesco bags into the kitchen.

“No, I’m not invited.”

“It’s an open party, how can you not be invited?”

“I don’t know if you remember Art, but I did break his nose and befriended the guy he despises.”

“That’s right.” The boy’s mother interrupted as she hung her car keys on the mantel piece  “He’s not going and if you’re under the impression that just because it’s an open party that w=you’ll be going Arthur Moran then you are mistaken.”

Arthur looked aghast at his mother, jolting up from the beanbag.

“Why not?! You allowed Seb to go last time there was a party, that’s so unfair.”

“When you’re sixteen you can go to whatever house party you want, but for now thirteen year old boys need to stay at home and do his homework.”

Arthur opened his mouth to protest but his mother held a finger up.

“No buts; now go and unpack the shopping please, Sebastian will help you.” As Arthur slumped off into the kitchen, Seb poked his head around the door frame and patted his mother on the shoulder.

“Uh, I might go out to see a friend who probably isn’t going to the party tonight....is that okay?” His mother looked sceptical.

“As long as you don’t do anything foolish and you don’t let your brother know.” Seb smiled, giving a mock salute before going to his brother’s aid.

Around nine o clock that evening, when the party would have been in full swing, Seb was walking down his road dressed in jeans and a hoody. His pockets were bulging from the cans of beer he had been able to hide throughout his person. 

He looked like he was about to burgle someone as he turned into the driveway of Jim’ home. Most of the lights were off apart from one flickering in one of the front facing upstairs rooms. Seb knew that Jim’s bedroom window was down the side of the house after a conversation they had had about spying on their neighbours.  Squeezing passed the collection of bins stuffed in the narrow passageway between the side of the house and the neighbouring fence, Seb trudged on the gravel and stopped below what he believed to be Jim’s bedroom.  If it wasn’t then he was more than prepared to run like the wind. The bedroom light was on could just about be seen from behind dark blue curtains.  Scooping up a handful of gravel, Seb lobbed the tiny stones against the window pane with a sharp patter. A couple more handful was all it took for the lock to click back and the still pane to be slid up.

Jim stuck his head out of the window and Seb knew that he was glaring down at him despite not being able to see his face in the darkness.

“What the fuck are you doing here Sebastian?” Jim hissed down angrily

“I’m here to see you, what else would I be here for?” Seb said as quietly as he could whilst still being able to be heard by Jim.

“Really, well I don’t want to see you, it’s nine in the evening now go away.” Jim’s head disappeared back indoor and he was about to slam the window shut.

“Wait! Please Jim, what harm is it going to do?” Jim poked his head back at and Seb felt slightly pathetic staring back up at him.

“Fine but you find your own way up here and you do it quietly.” With that Jim retreated back into his room and didn’t appear at the window again, although he had left both the window and the curtains open for him.  

Seb rolled up his sleeves and sighed. It had been a long time since he had climbed up a drainpipe.  The plastic groaned as he shimmed up it, straining against the bracers as it took his weight.  Feet scrambling against the brick, Seb hauled himself up the drain pipe, breathing heavily through his nose as he hands squealed against the smooth surface.  Eventually he reached out for the thin wooden windowsill and hauled himself through the opening.

Expecting to land hard on the floor, Seb was rather surprised when he rolled down onto the softness of Jim’s mattress. Looking around Seb spotted Jim huddled with his back against the headboard, knees drawn up with a puzzled book resting closed against his legs. He didn’t look every impressed.

“Hi.” Seb said weakly, shifting so that he was sat instead of kneeling. “I bought you a present.”

Seb dived his hands into his pockets and tossed a can of beer over to Jim. It hit the headboard and fell against the duvet.

“Why did you bring these?” Jim asked blandly as he picked up the can in his hand. Still he did not look impressed.

“Well, there is a party going on which neither of us is invited to, so I thought we could have a party of our own.” Seb said, snapping open the beer can with a hiss and taking a gulp of the foam.  Jim glared at him.

“I’m not a party person.”

“Just try it.” eventually, after a lot of glaring, Jim snapped open the can and took a tiny sip before placing it back on the bedside table. Seb smiled and finally took the time to look around the room.  It was tiny, barely fitting in the bed, set of drawers and the bedside table. It wasn’t as neat as Seb might have though it would be; in fact it was rather chaotic with a pin board crammed with slips of paper, stacks of CD’s, DVD’s and book piled on the floor alongside issue of both male and female vogue magazines.  The walls were covered with posters, maps of stars, the periodic table of elements, complex mathematic theory alongside large posters of Beyonce and various other pop artists Seb wouldn’t have associated Jim with.

Seb grinned and Jim continued to glare at him.

“Say a single word I will rip your mouth off.”  He could as well, considering the large plastic box filled with scientific testing equipment right near the bed.

“Vogue?”

“Fashion is important.”

“Beyonce?”

“She’s iconic.”

“But...really?”

“What was that I said about you speaking?”

Seb laughed and Jim punched him in the arm.  They both took another gulp of their drinks.

“You look adorable in those pyjamas you know.” Seb teased eyeing up Jim’s star print bottom which went way over his feet and his baggy white t-shirt with a wash faded pi symbol on.

“I will push you out of that window in a minute.” Jim said, trying to hide his smile by taking a sip of his beer but Seb still spotted it. Yes he was certainly adorable in his pyjamas with that grumpy expression and messed up hair.  Jim closed his eyes slightly and it was only then did Seb notice the red earphones jammed inside the other’s ears.  Jim cracked open one eye. 

“Would you like one?” Jim offered, taking one of the buds out of his ear and holding it out to Seb. Seb eyed it with uncertainty.  He took it and Jim squashed up against the wall to allow Seb to sit next to him.  He was listening to Florence & The Machine and Se couldn’t help but smirk.

 “Seriously, I would have never assumed you listened to this music.” Jim huffed, downing the rest of the can and opening another. Seb had managed to carry six in total. 

“I thought you were good at making assumptions?”

“The alcohol is distracting me.” Jim took another swig and burst out laughing. Seb could tell that this was probably the first time Jim had ever properly drunk alcohol since it was going through his system very quickly.

“Jimmy!” Suddenly Jim stopped laughing. He tensed. “Jimmy what the hell are you doing?”

Seb was more than surprised when Jim bolted off the bed and rammed his back against the door.

“Nothing.” He called back to the voice on the other side of the door.

“Jim?” Seb questioned but was quickly silenced when Jim placed a finger against his lips in signal to shut up.

“What was that Jimmy? Hey little brother, what was that?” The voice was right against the door, testing the door handle which Jim gripped to stop it from budging. “Come on let me in, I’m telling you to let me in.”

“Nothing is going on Gillian now fuck off!” Jim shouted his face screwing up as he quickly swapped his hand for a chair. He scrambled back into the corner and pressed himself up against Seb’s side, his face practically buried in his neck.  The door moved violently against the door handle, the wood groaning as the person on the other side tried to force their way in. Eventually they gave up, hitting the door with a bang before walking away.

Jim was breathing hard against Sebastian’s neck and for the first time Seb knew that Jim was afraid. Closing his eyes, Seb wrapped his arms around Jim’s form, well aware of how fast his own heart was beating. Jim’s breath slowed against his skin but he made no effort to move.

“What the hell was that?” Seb whispered after about ten minutes. Jim sighed and turned his face out of Seb’s neck so that it lent against his shoulder.

“My brother, he’ s a little overly controlling.” Jim said blandly, reaching again for the beer can. Seb passed it to him and took up his own.

“I didn’t realise you had a brother.”

“I have two. The eldest one lives in Belfast and that one you just met there is home from university for the time being. We’ve never really gotten along with each other.”

Seb nodded, knowing that Jim didn’t want to talk about it. Instead he tilted his head up to rest against the edge of the headboard.  He smiled slightly.

“That’s cute.” He mumbled aloud.

“What is?” Jim said into his shoulder.

“Those glow in the dark stars you have on your ceiling.” Jim actually giggled, a noise Seb never thought he’d ear coming from Jim’s mouth.  They sat there in silence until they both finished their second can.  The hallway light went off with a click outside and they were both well aware of how late it was getting. But Sebastian was warm and comfortable and the cuddle was probably the nicest thing Jim had had in a while.

“Why aren’t you at Carl’s party Seb?” Jim asked quietly.

“I reconstructed his nose remember.” Jim smiled at the memory but that wasn’t what he meant.

“No, you wouldn’t have gone even if that never happened. From the rumours I heard you didn’t make a very good impression of yourself last time.”  Jim felt Seb tense.

“What exactly did the rumours say?”

“That you kissed Carl’s cousin and slept with her or something. Apparently she was eighteen or something”

There was a silence. Jim felt Seb relax slightly and he exhaled deeply.  The idea that Seb wasn’t virgin was probably the one thing that intimidated Jim, considering that Jim hadn’t even kissed anyone yet let alone gone to bed with them.

“The rumours aren’t true.....well they aren’t all true.”  Jim wanted to sigh in relief.

“I met Carl’s cousin; she was nice and had come back from college to see him. She had this friend of her with her; he was nice as well, the really cool, artsy type of person.” Seb said with little emotion.

“We got talking and I spent most of the night with him. I mean, that was the first time I was properly drunk, I kept drinking because he kept drinking and I didn’t want him to think I was a pansy. I was so stupid. Anyway he says something about going some places quieter and I didn’t have a clue what he meant. All I knew was that he was an awesome guy who was really good looking and that he was actually paying attention to me and that I was out of my head with alcohol. So we go upstairs to this room and suddenly we’re kissing and I don’t know what’s going on but I sure as hell know that I’m enjoying it.  We didn’t do anything apart from kissing and a bit of fondling, fuck I didn’t even know his name and it was happening way too fast. “

Jim blinked. The very idea of Seb being gay hadn’t come into the equation at any point. He had kept that part very well hidden. It was a surprise but Jim knew he couldn’t interrupt with an outburst just yet.

“Suddenly the door opens and Carl’s cousin comes in, pulls her friend away from me and the stand back as I proceed to empty my guts onto the carpet. Her friend slides off back to the party without a word leaving Carl’s cousin and I alone in this room. Anyway she cleaned up the vomit and I sat there in the corner absolutely useless.  I think that was the first time I felt like a proper slut and I hated it. Luckily she promised not to tell anyone about it and told me I should go home.  But of course, we were in that room for a while so when we both come out of it together that’s when the rumours start to generate and suddenly we’ve apparently slept together. Carl hated me for it and wouldn’t believe me when I told him that nothing happened. No one did. I couldn’t tell them the proper story and I’m a shit liar. “

Seb chuckled “I guess there’s always been a reason I didn’t go to house parties.”

One of Seb’s arms slide off Jim’s body and Jim lifted up so that he was lying on Seb’s chest.

“So you’re still a virgin” Seb smiled, surprised that that was the first question he was asked .

“Yeah.”

“And you’re gay?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

Jim processed the information, filing it away inside his mind.  He hummed and ran his fingers through Seb’s hair. It was soft between his fingers

“You have such a nice face Seb.” Jim said, a mixture of fatigue and alcohol making his mind hazy. Seb smiled.

“You too Jim.”

“Stop it you’ll make me blush.” Jim giggled, batting his other hand playfully against Seb’s ribs. Seb laughed slightly his eyes dropping to look at Jim’s mouth.  Jim noticed and smirked, biting slightly on his bottom lip. The impulse to do something stupid was overbearing. And Jim had never been one to control his impulses.

Leaning forward so that he was inches away from Seb, Jim hesitated for just a moment.  But before he could do anything more, Seb acted upon his own impulses and closed the tiny gap between them so that they kissed. 


	7. Complex Theory of Dating

Braces. Seb has never kissed anyone with braces, let alone train tracks, and it’s all he can think about as he feels them under Jim’s lips, the texture slightly rough which make him wary of cutting his lips or his tongue if things went a little wild. But aside from the braces, Seb is amazed that this was really happening.  He’s kissing Jim. Jim of all people.

Jim is inexperienced but it doesn’t matter. Seb is hardly the most trained kisser in the country, and the naivety on both parts is what makes it real. Seb could make up some bullshit about fireworks and magic and all sorts of shit found in romantic novels, but the kiss is none of those things. It’s rough and clumsy and down to earth. It’s just two, slightly intoxicated teenagers kissing for the first time in a bedroom at god knows what time at night. But the lack of sensational language doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t just as good as it should be.

For Jim this is his first kiss. He’s never been kissed or kissed anyone in his life, not even his parents went that far when it came to affections, a hug was something extraordinary when it came to them. But yet again, instead of thinking about such a turning point in his life this was, a heavy stream of colourful curse words were flying through his head at one hundred miles an hour.  Sometimes a calculation of how hard he would have to press to either cut his own mouth or Sebastian’s lips on the metal of his braces would interrupt the stream, but it was nothing like the stereotypical string of thought portrayed in popular media.

Pulling back Jim breathes heavily, exhaling and inhaling. His lips feel damp and Sebastian’s breath blows over his neck.  Jim contemplates for a second, suddenly knowing the answer to that calculation at the end of his further mathematic homework paper.  Shifting so that he is properly sat down in Seb’s lap, legs stretched out so that his toes touched the headboard, Jim bunches his fists in the fabric of Seb’s jumper and pulls him back in. He decides that he likes this and he is greedy about it.

The clash of teeth against metal is painful. Sebastian almost draws back as the slight pain fills his mouth, but Jim’s grip is surprisingly strong. Instead he sinks into it, sucking on Jim’s bottom lip and eventually teasing his tongue into the other’s mouth.  Nothing is graceful about this kiss; it’s messy from lack of practise and probably as little ugly to watch but luckily the two of them are alone.

Seb’s hands are on Jim’s sides. The fabric of his pyjamas is soft and warm, the elastic waistband riding low enough for Seb to feel the jut of Jim’s hip through his t-shirt as his hands slide downwards.  A colourful slip of Jim’s underwear brushes against Seb’s fingers and he quickly moves his hands round to Jim’s back before he gets any underwear concerned ideas.

Jim can taste blood. The likeness is that he’s accidentally cut Seb’s lip on his braces but the other was too busy feeling him up to have noticed. Jim squirmed at the touch.  Finally Seb’s hand settles at the small of his back, the heat of his hands seeping through the fabric of his t-shirt.  It was Jim’s turn to touch. Unwinding his hands from Seb’s jumper he lifts his hands and curves them around the sides of Seb’s neck.  Jugular, throat, sternocleidomastoid muscle, down towards the collar bone and sternum, the names of muscle, blood vessels and bones came easily to Jim as he traced them lightly with his fingers.

This time Seb pulled back, touching two fingers gingerly to his cut lip. It stung slightly but the light bleeding had stopped. Jim’s lips were red and swollen from the kiss and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.  They were suddenly both aware of how thirty they were.

“So um ...” Seb started but didn’t finish as one hand still lay on Jim’s back.

“Yeah.” Jim replied absent minded, wiggling out of Seb’s lap and away from his hands.

He stood and stretched before idly walking out of the room. Closing the door silently Jim crept along the hallway towards the bathroom, footsteps confident despite the darkness.  Jim pulled the string and the bathroom light clicked on suddenly, his pupils contracting against the brightness. Running cold water, Jim cupped his hands beneath the stream and gulped it down.  In the mirror he gazed at his reflection, running his tongue over his reddened lips and patting down his messed up hair. His cheeks were flushed. Emptying the glass container holding toothbrushes and toothpaste, Jim filled the glass up with water and padded back towards his room.

Seb was halfway out the window when Jim returned.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jim said, placing the glass down on the nearest flat surface and leaning over the bed to grab Sebastian by the belt loops.  Seb looked over his shoulder, hands gripping either side of the window frame as he teetered on the slim windowsill.  

“You went so I thought you might want me to leave.” Jim scowled

“I didn’t tell you to leave, so don’t be so stupid.” Hauling Seb back onto the bed, Jim picked up the glass of water and thrust it into Seb’s hands.

“I went to get you this. Don’t make this into one of those pathetic teenage dramas where I kick you out and never talk to you again just because you kissed me.”  Jim huffed, flopping down so he lay sideway across the bed, legs draping over the edge as his head pressed against the wall. Seb looked down at him, sat cross legged on the duvet facing out towards the window. Seb chuckled, downing the water in one and placed the glass down on the floor.

“So...does this make me your boyfriend or something?” Seb asked gingerly, leaning back on the heels of his hands. Jim rolled his eyes.

“What did I just say about teenage dramas?” Jim huffed, grabbing the corner of the duvet and wrapping around himself like a cocoon.  Seb scowled, letting his arms slip out from under him so that he lay down, making sure his neck didn’t flop over the edge of the bed.

“Of course this makes you my boyfriend you idiot.” Jim mumbled into the duvet, back turned on Sebastian. Seb smiled, switching the bedside light off and staring up at the glow in the dark stars with lit up the ceiling.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Sebastian Moran!” Seb froze at the foot of the stairs. He had purposely come in through the back down to avoid confrontation but his mother had already learnt all his old tricks. Turning to face his mother who stood in the hallway with her arms folded sternly, Seb smiled, holding up his hands in surrender. She gestured towards the living room and Seb quickly hurried into the room, his mother shutting the door behind her as she entered.

“Where the hell were you all night? You do realize that when I said you could go out last night I meant that you come home at some point before morning.” Seb bit his lip, looking towards the clock. It was now noon.

“I was at Jim’s.”

“And what where you doing at Jim’s all night? Oh and don’t think I don’t know that you took six cans with you last night.”

“It’s not what you think. Okay we drank a little but I promise that nothing major happened. I fell asleep and then I woke up, I promise.”

It was true, Seb had woke up with a comforter draped over him, the winter sunlight a dark blue as it shone through the curtains. His neck killed from falling asleep sideways across the bed and his stomach growled with hunger.  Groaning his pulled the comforter tighter around him and rolled over onto the empty patch where Jim had been, the duvet scrunched and cool.

“There is cereal in the box.” Seb poked his head out from underneath the blanket at the sound of Jim’s voice. Jim was sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, waving his hand towards the cluttered desk on the other side of the room. Seb huffed, wiggling out of the blanket and rubbing his eyes. He had taken his jumper off before he fell asleep but his jeans felt uncomfortable and his t-shirt a little tight. He slid off the bed and padded over toward the desk, taking the box of dried cereal and helping himself. The flakes were crunchy and sweet without the milk and they stuck to his clammy palm.

Jim was sat on the floor playing with a handheld console, the bluish light highlighting his face and looking fresh out the shower. He smelt fresh out the shower too.  Seb lent against the desk, legs crosses as he munched on cereal.

“If you’re wondering, it’s about noon-ish and if you want to go home you know where the window is.” Jim said, not looking up from the handheld.

“Yeah I guess I should go....I’ll see you Monday right?”

“I don’t see why not.” Seb rolled his eye, placing the cereal box on the desk and crouching in front of Jim. Placing his hand on the bed frame, Seb leaned forward and stole a kiss from Jim, earning himself an irritated punch to the shoulder for interrupting the other’s game.

Now Seb was home, in his living stood in front of his mother. His mother eyed him sceptically before unfolding her arms and sighing.

“ Okay I believe you, but please tell me if you plan on staying the whole night out okay.” Seb nodded, accepting his mother’s open arms as she enveloped him in a hug.

“You know what the best thing is mum.” Seb said into her shoulder “I’ve finally got myself a boyfriend.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Very little changed at school. Jim didn’t see Seb in his lessons apart from chemistry, nor would he see the other at break. It was only at lunch when Jim really saw Sebastian.  They met up together in the library, huddled at Jim usual desk in the corner of the library hidden amongst the forest of bookcases.

Sometimes Seb would study, Jim watching the look of concentration on his face and deciding that he liked the way his brows furrowed neatly; the same way it did when he read with his legs up on the table but angled so they didn’t get in Jim’s way, his school tie loosened and his blazer draped over the back of the chair.

Sometimes Seb would pull his chair round to sit with Jim side by side, shoulder touching. Now and again Seb would longue on Jim, leaning his head on his shoulder or in his lap as Jim worked, giving Sebastian irritated works and jolting the dead weight off of him.

Other times when Seb arrived at the library before Jim, Jim would scowl at the other boy sat in his seat and would soon find himself being pulled into the other’s lap, arms wrapped around his middle as lips pressed against his neck. But everything they did in the library was lost, a secret within the jungle of school knowledge never to be witnessed. 

The only snippets of their relationship which were witnessed by others were when they walked home together after school. Of course they still sat together in chemistry but their behaviour hadn’t changed, Seb still respected Jim’s personal space and Jim still tutted when he thought Seb’s intelligence was inferior. They hadn’t planned on walking home together either until Seb jogged up to Jim’s side one day and walked with him until they reached the foot of his driveway. Once there Seb pulled him behind the neighbour’s front wall and kissed him before carrying on his way. The same repeated the next day and the day after that until it turned into daily routine.

But suddenly Jim found himself the centre of attention. He heard the whispers as he walked down the corridors, as he sat down in class, pretty much everywhere he went he could hear them. Whispering, gossiping, wondering how and why Jim Moriarty had managed to make a friend of Sebastian Moran; wondering if perhaps there was a little more going on than just simple friendship.

The only thing Jim is nervous about is Carl Powers and his friends. The new rumours were spreading like wildfire and Jim was certain that he would get some kind of confrontation at some point.  Images of the last confrontation they had, curled up sore and bleeding on cold tiles flashed through his mind. But whenever Jim passed one of Carl’s friends in the corridor or campus they did nothing more than spare him a dirty look and carry on their way. If Seb was walking by his side, then the tension would curl, Seb automatically tightening his grip on Jim’s arm as he glared at Carl, almost daring him to make a move or say something smart. For Jim it was like watching something off the discovery channel. It almost reminded him of lions.

“Are you okay?” Snapping out of his thought process Jim looks up. Seb is sat at the foot of his bed, cross legged with his school shirt undone to show off his tight white t-shirt. A tight white t-shirt which hugged the features of his torso perfectly and Jim had to drag his eyes away when they started lingering. 

Jim pushed the laptop out of his lap and leaned against the headboard of his bed, still fully dressed apart from the tie hanging loose around his neck and the button of his collar undone.  He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“If I asked you to, how badly would you hurt Carl?” Seb scowled at him, something in his eyes turning dark and Jim noted down the sudden change. There was a dark side to Seb which was so well hidden, but Jim always noticed it, lurking where no one else would bother looking.

“Why? What has he said? I swear if he has even breathed in your direction I-”

“Don’t get all melodramatic dear, he hasn’t done anything.”  Jim interrupted, placing a hand over Seb’s mouth to stop him from talking. Seb rose an eyebrow. Jim smiled wickedly.

“All I’m asking is if I told you to hurt Carl, or anyone else, so badly, such as break their bones or....burn them would you do it?”  Jim lifts his hand from Seb’s mouth and places it on his thigh. Seb tilts his head, encircling Jim’s wrists with his fingers.

“If someone hurt you” Seb said lowly, pressing his forehead against Jim’s “ I’m not sure what I would do.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

“This is shit.” Seb lifted one eyebrow and look downward. He was sat in his living room, curled up at one end of the sofa with a bowl of salty snacks on the armrest. Jim is lounging on him, stretched out across the rest of the sofa with his head on Seb’s stomach and arms awkwardly trying to hug Seb’s leg. Jim could get like this sometime; one moment he would be repelling any touch Sebastian dared to lay on him and other times he would be coiling himself around Sebastian like a python, trying to take up as much room as possible whilst still keeping as much bodily contact with Seb as he could.

“How is this shit?” Seb asks trying not to chuckle as Jim screws his nose up. They were watching some detective show on the television, something which popped up whilst channel flicking which Jim insisted on watching. 

“The criminals, they are so stupid. Any good criminal knows that they are not suppose to leave a single bit of evidence and that way he can get out of the crime. It’s like an equation, you can’t have any loose parts in an equation it all needs to add up to make the total. You can’t just have a random number and a divide sign floating about on its own. So if you have your evidence, your witnesses, your alibi as unsolved equations then your crime is bound to fail and you will look like an idiot.”

Jim waved his arms about enthusiastic as he talked, a hint frustration in his voice. He squirmed in Seb’s lap and almost smacked him in the face a couple of times which amused Seb as he batted Jim’s limbs away from him.

“As complex as the mathematic theory maybe there is a way to understanding it. Like computer programming; HTML codes frighten the fuck out of some people, but for people who have more than one brain cell, like me for example, find HTML and complex programming like nursery school, you place the circle block in the circle hole and the square block in the square hole. You have to have the right mind and the right planning to accomplish a crime successfully. You need to make it clean and secret and as stripped from your hands as possible. You need to be able to act like you have done nothing wrong whilst being fully aware that you’ve slit someone’s throat and dropped their body in the ocean. “

It didn’t worry Seb when Jim spoke like this. A couple of days ago Jim had lectured on the effect tetrodotoxin poisoning had on the human body after being ingested.  A couple of days before that he had described in graphic detail the process and effects of strangling.  So when Jim came out rambling on about crime and maths and technology, Seb just nodded and looked interested without a care in the world.

“So how would you suggest you do that? Tie up all the loose ends that is.” Seb asked as the he watched the criminal on the television get towed away in the back of a police car. Jim scoffed in disapproval. 

The credits started to roll and Jim gave a cheer of delight, shifting so that his arms wrapped awkwardly around Seb’s neck whilst he draped over his raised knee.  Seb reached for the remote and flicked through the channels as advert after advert started to play.

“Since that was a disaster I get to choose what we watch next.”

“But you have a crap taste in programs” Jim whined, pulling himself up so that his face pressed into Seb’s neck, arms still firmly wrapped around him.

“No I don’t.”

“You made me watch that stupid nature program.”

“Hey you said you liked it when the fungus grew out the back of that ant’s head.”

Jim whined again, occupying himself by kissing Seb’s neck. It was more than a little distracting.

The sound of the front door unlocking and heels clopping on the wooden flooring flowed through the house. It was Seb’s mother returning home from Markus’ parent’s evening at school and then dropping Markus round to his friends who were going hiking on the weekend. 

“Seb darling I’m home...oh how wonderful to see you Jim.”  Jim waved a hand but refused to uncurl himself from around Seb’s body unlike most awkward teens would do in the presents of their boyfriend’s mother. Seb grinned. Jim had met Seb’s mum shortly after he told her they were dating, mainly because Jim stayed over on the weekends to escape his brother and his parents, and Seb had been surprised at how quickly his mother had taken a liking to Jim. Maybe it was just a Moran thing to gravitate towards the unusual personality of a Moriarty. 

Seb smiled, gently unwrapping Jim from around him. Jim scowled and protested but nevertheless Seb managed to break free of Jim unusually clingy nature and follow after his mum into the kitchen, making sure to close the door behind him.

“Do you mind if Jim stays tonight mum?”  Seb’s mum looked up after she took off her heels and sighed.

“I don’t think I could stop you even if I did mind.” She sighed, reclining in the computer chair “Seriously Sebastian I don’t mind...I just worry sometimes. Jim spends an awful lot of time here, are things okay at home?” Seb shrugged

“His family are a little weird, but he doesn’t like to talk about them so I don’t ask.” Seb’s mother looked worried but she didn’t push the question.

“As long as he knows he is always welcome here. Now off you go, when you’re boyfriend wants to cuddle you cuddle until the world ends. Also I have to talk to your father.” Seb scowled at the last part, but the blush which stained his cheeks was more than a little noticeable. He nodded, slipping out the room.

Jim was leaning against the wall when he came out, arms folded with a blank look on his face.  Seb smiled easily, sliding his arms around Jim’s waist and pressed him against the wall.

“You look adorable when you pout.” Seb whispered, placing a chaste kiss against Jim’s mouth. Jim frowned only making the slight pout on his lips become more noticeable.

“I’m not pouting.”

“Don’t try to deny it.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Jim was awake. He stared up at the ceiling, bare and boring and absent of the luminous stick of stars. The duvet was crisp and warm, the dark grey snug around the back of his pale legs. Seb was asleep. Lying at Jim’s side with his back facing towards him, he breathed softly and twitched in his dreams. Seb was warm. Jim was cold. Not that Jim minded; it was his choice to wiggle out from under the duvet and lie on top of it, still as a statue as if he was waiting for the undertaker to prepare his body and place it inside a velvet coffin.

He sat up. Looking down he watched Seb sleep in the darkness, unable to make out his features. He wondered what he was doing here with Sebastian, here kissing and cuddling him like he had before. He had been surprised that Seb didn’t runaway when he started talking about murder and death and crime like he was talking about the weather. That had always been his downfall, apparently it wasn’t right to explain the difference between wet and dry drowning to other class mates when you’re nine years old. Apparently it was right to bend that boys arm that way to get him to do what Jim wanted him to do when they were six years old.  After years of any kind of friend running away from him Jim slid into a sense of normopathy, so determined to act as expected that he sometimes felt robotic as his personality started slipping from his fingers.

But Seb stuck around when he described the stages of bodily decay after death. Seb sat there and listened, he asked questions and he listened some more. He listened a lot more than his parents or his siblings or his teachers ever had. Seb confused Jim; he made him feel so small yet so eager to explode from his bulletproof shell. He no longer wished to be part of the furniture, he wanted to be the centre piece, he wanted to be the painting on wall of that designer apartment which everyone looked at as they walked in and thought ‘wow isn’t that interesting’.

Sliding back down onto the bed, Jim rolled over onto his side. His back curved against Seb’s as he face away from him. What confused Jim most about Seb was this suddenly feeling he felt in his stomach, a feeling which told him that he never wanted Seb to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normopathy  
> Psychiatric theorist Christopher Bollas invented the idea of normopathy to describe people who are so focused on blending in and conforming to social norms that it becomes a kind of mania. A person who is normotic is often unhealthily fixated on having no personality at all, and only doing exactly what is expected by society.


	8. The Myth of Orion and the Scorpion

Something was very wrong.

Seb wasn’t stupid; he knew that the sound of crying was always a bad sign, especially when the sobbing was coming directly from his mother’s bedroom. It got to the point where Seb just bought his own food along and held in any urge to go to the toilet in order to avoid the twist in Jim actions.  But like always, Seb never asked what the problem was, he just did what he was told.

Arriving back home at just before ten at night, Seb unlocked the front door and navigated his way through the dark house. Light seeped onto the upstairs landing from under the doors of the other bedrooms like spilled ink. Inside the bathroom he pulled his dark grey t-shirt over his head and dunked his face in the sink, water splashing onto his vest top and soaking his hair with dark patches.  Droplets rolled down his neck as he brushed his teeth, the minty taste scrapping away the sugar which had filled his mouth throughout the night. Jim had a surprisingly sweet tooth whilst Seb was more of a savoury person, but no one could say no when a small teenage boy with large dark eyes wrapped in a solar system blanket offered you a bowl full of sugary delights. Seb was certain that his boyfriend probably shouldn’t be consuming so much sugar with his braces, but Jim had a habit of doing exactly what he was told not to.

Rubbing his face with the hand towel and draping it back over the rail, Seb plodded back into the dark hallway, feet soft against the carpet as he headed towards his bedroom, t-shirt lying across the back of his neck.  He had his hand on the door to his bedroom when he heard it.  The hitched sound of sobs being caught in someone’s throat. A low stifled sound squeezing out of the windpipe followed by the sniff of a nose.

Sebastian turned, scowling as he looked towards the room across the hall where his mother slept.  The door had been left ajar and light seeped into the darkness, illuminating a strip of amber down the side of Sebastian’s face.  Gingerly stepping closer to the door, carefully avoiding the floorboards which would creak under his weight, Seb peered through the gap in the door lying one hand on the frame. He couldn’t see his mother, only the heeled shoes she had stepped out of and left on the carpet when she returned home earlier that day.  

He was torn. Like any teenager who heard the sound of their mother figure crying, Sebastian instantly wanted to barge in and comfort her. It came like an overwhelming instinct, urging him to fling the door open and take her in his arms. It came hand in hand with the role of being the ‘man of the house’ which had been subconsciously placed upon him since moving away from his father.  But he also knew what his mother was like. She was the type to endure and the idea of letting either one of her sons see her in such a state was out of the question. With this in mind, Sebastian bowed his head and backed away from the door.

That night he lay awake, listening until the crying subsided. Even then, he couldn’t sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Jim looked up a little alarmed when he realised the question was aimed at him.  He had been creating a solar system around the notes he had taken in his English book, curled up in the plastic chair with his back against the wall in the back corner of the classroom. They had a substitute teacher this lesson since the usual teacher had come down with a bad case of stomach flu  and the class was alive with chatter after finishing the very little work they had been set....if they had even bothered doing it that is.

However Jim’s back corner peace was interrupted by a girl sat on the row in front suddenly turning round to address him. Jim looked up at her heavily painted face and her shirt which had the collar gaping and her bright pink bra could be seen through the white fabric. He was pretty sure it was against school uniform policy but she was no doubt already aware of that.

“Excuse me.” Jim said, pausing in his doodling and tapping his pen against the paper. By now the girls- whose name he didn’t even know- friends sat either side of her turned in their seats to face him, arms crossed over their chests as they look upon Jim as if he was the spawn of the devil.

“I said what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Yeah,  a creep like you can’t just become ‘friends’ with one of the most popular guys in school.”

“So we’re asking, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

It was to do with Sebastian. Jim sighed, picking up his pen and started doodling absentmindedly again. He’d been expecting an attack from Seb’s unwanted army of girls, and finally after a lot of whispering the guns had started to emerge.

“My company is obviously a lot more entertaining.”  Jim said, impervious to the heated glares he was now receiving.  The blond girl sat directly in front of him was in Jim’s chemistry class, the one who would try to back Seb into a corner whenever he went to receive tools for a practical lesson.  At first, seeing the terrified look Seb shot Jim from over the girl’s shoulder as he tried to push her away with a pair of tongs had been amusing and Jim had teased Seb about it ever since. But seeing the action repeated over and over again started to become frustrating.

Needless to say Jim had a personal vendetta against this girl.

“If you’re saying that he likes you better then you’re wrong.” The brunette on the left said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Yeah you’re just obsessed with him, you follow him about like a lost puppy.”

Jim fought to keep the smirk off his face as images of Seb curled up in his arms on his bed, reaching up for kisses and nuzzling his cheek against Jim’s chest.  This whole situation was a little ironic.

“He doesn’t even like you, he put up with you because he feels sorry for you.”

Jim scowled. Anger was boiling in his blood and his doodling was starting to become vicious scribbles across the page. Space junk started to fill the solar system, whirling black holes engulfing planets and stars in its furious jaws.  Jim could feel it. The ugly feeling that he pushed down and smothered the best he could but never killed it. He wasn’t hopeless, he didn’t need people’s sympathy, he didn’t need other people’s approval.

“Really. Well I’ve got news for you sweetheart, Sebastian doesn’t like you either. He doesn’t know your name or who you are despite your numerous advances. He doesn’t even look at you, he is disgusted by you, you vile piece of poisonous bacteria.”

The bell went and Jim pushed out of his seat without regarding the flabbergast expression on the girl’s face. Swinging his bag over one shoulder and storming out of the classroom, Jim pushed open the block doors and walked out across the campus. He carried on until he reached the fence around the back of the canteen. Throwing his bag over the tall metal wire, Jim quickly follow suit, flinging himself off the top of the fence and landing into the dirty grass billow with a thud.

Fat droplets of rain started to fall from dark grey cloud above and Jim scowled, dragging his bag along the tarmac.  It wasn’t hard to walk out of school, barely anyone was about to see the lone schoolboy wondering through town, tie loose and shirt collar undone and teachers rarely noticed his presence at the back of their classrooms so it was not like he wasn’t going to be highly missed.

Cutting round the back of the housing estate, Jim walked into the park where he and Seb had strolled on their first night out together. They hadn’t returned there since, mainly because the park benches were now the favourite hangout of everyone they disliked.  Straying off the path and sliding down the wet grass hill, Jim hoped over the low brick wall and into the play area on the other side.

The tarmac was soft and black and covered in spray paint for children to play hop-scotch and stepping stone games. There was a swing set with flaking red paint and a slide with a wooden climbing frame which was covered in graffiti. A new round-a-bout had been fitted over the Christmas period after the other rusted stiff.  Jim realised how pathetic sitting on a swing by yourself in a play park was, and he mentally made a note to never do this again as he dropped his bag and flopped down onto the cold metal seat. Luckily it wasn’t completely wet from the rain just yet.

It would have been worse if Jim had just sat there, but instead he started working round in circles, looking up and watching as the chain twisted around its partner knotting and clanging together.  He kept his eyes open as he quickly lifted his legs towards his chest. The world whirled by in a stream of acrylic colour, making him blind to the surroundings. There was a coldness to the air that whirled around him and the light rainfall hit his face.

“Having fun?”

Slamming his shoes down onto the tarmac, Jim skidded to a halt, hands gripping the chains hard. He scowled. Seb stood on the edge of the tarmac, sleeves rolled up as he kicked at the grass. His hair was slightly damp and goose bumps covered his arms.

“Where’s your jacket?” Jim asked blandly relaxing into the swing and sway slightly back and forth. Seb shrugged. Jim rolled his eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.” Jim frowned at the response as Seb dropped his bag and came to sit on the swing next to Jim.

“I mean” Seb started, driving his hand through his dark blonde hair. “I saw you walking away from school when I was walking towards gym and one of the girls was having a total bitch fest about you.”

At this point Seb was finding it hard not to smile “Apparently you compared her to bacteria.”

“I called her a vile piece of poisonous bacteria, if she is going to talk about me she might as well quote me properly.”  Jim huffed but there was a smirk on his lips. Seb chuckled.

“Besides, it’s not hard to skip gym and we wouldn’t want you going on a rampage just because some blonde bimbo pissed you off.”

“Correction, _you_ wouldn’t want me going on a rampage, no one else would care unless it reached the police.”

There was a silence. Seb knew when Jim wasn’t in the mood to speak and there was no point in try to milk him. A pair of women each with prams and umbrellas walked passed, pausing in their conversation at the sight of two teenage boys who should clearly be in school. Instead of confronting them, like all people they walked on resuming their conversation about something which had happened the previous Friday.

Jim screwed his nose up at the rain which was starting to fall heavier than before. The school uniform might not be the most expensive thing in his wardrobe but there was something distressing about seeing an outfit getting ruined in the rain. Launching himself from the swing seat, Jim grabbed his school bag and strode away from the park, not bothering to call for Sebastian and assuming he would just follow behind.

Sebastian never disappointed. He followed right behind Jim, not quite by his side but not dragging so far behind to be considered unaccompanied.  Jim lead Seb without a word, taking him away from the rain and back towards his home.

No one was home so for once Jim let Seb through the front door, dumping his keys on the hallway table before jogging upstairs.  Seb wiped his shoes on the doormat before taking two steps up the stairs after Jim.

“So why did you called that girl a piece of bacteria?” Seb finally asked, kicking off his shoes and flopping down onto the bed. His clothes were wet and cold and he unbuttoned his shirt to simply wear the white t-shirt underneath. Jim threw his bag into the corner along with his blazer and shoes before picking a CD off his desk. It was newly bought and still had the plastic wrapping on which was ripped off eagerly. It was a CD Jim was obviously excited about having. He didn’t reply instantly, slipping the CD into the stereo and letting play loudly through the speakers as he slipped on a different t-shirt and an extremely baggy jumper Seb recognized as the one he had left behind last time he had been in Jim’s bedroom.

“Because.” Jim said over the sound of Lana Del Rey’s  voice “I could and she deserved it. Don’t ask boring questions.”

Waving a hand dismissively Jim crawled onto the foot of the bed, closing his eyes and slumping into the bedcovers.  Seb folded his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

“You can tell me stuff you know....if you’ve got stuff on your mind that is.” Jim snorted

“Shut up.”

“No, don’t dismiss me like that, I’m trying my hardest and you’re just throwing it back in my face.”

“I don’t see why you should care about what goes on in my mind, I don’t see why you should care about what people should say about me, I don’t see why you should care about what I do. It’s not effecting you in the slightest.”

“Oh so you think I like it when people push you about and sneer at you and be complete bastards to you?”

“It’s not like they are doing it to you.”

Seb sat up. Jim was still lounged on top of the bed with his eyes shut, perfectly passive to the conversation. Sometimes it felt like he was talking to a robot.

“I care Jim, because I’d like to think that I am in the very least you’re friend.”

The corner of Jim’s mouth twitched downwards in disapproval. Seb sighed and shook his head, lying back down on the bed. It was impossible. The feel of Jim’s weight shifted and suddenly large eyes are inches away from Seb’s, a warm weight straddled over his waist and a firm grip on his wrists.

“You are not my friend.” Jim snarled, so close that his breath tickled Seb’s face. Seb frowned. “You are my boyfriend and nothing less.”

With that Jim closed the small gap to kiss Seb.  Seb’s mouth opens quickly, allowing Jim’s tongue into his mouth and letting it flick against the roof of his mouth. It’s not as clumsy as it used to be, but they could both do with a lot more practise in the art. Jim’s hand leaves Seb’s wrists, travelling down his arms and dancing across his chest. Seb cups Jim’s face in one hand as the other settles on his slim waist.

Jim fingers are distracting and bold, hands spreading out over Seb’s abs and across his stomach. They feel and probe, not sleek or smooth but curious and inexperienced and having no idea about what kind of pleasure touching in the right places can bring. But neither of them are thinking about that, this is merely an important learning experience.  Seb turns adventurous and allows his hand to slide over Jim’s hip and onto his arse.

Jim pulled back suddenly, surprised and out of breath. Heb breathed heavily and quickly accepts the position of Seb’s hands in the knowledge that his own fingers are very close to the waist band of Seb’s school trousers.  He fingers them lightly, the pads of his fingers picking at the scratchy fabric. It would be so easy to slip his hand down but how would the added fraction disrupt the already fragile equation. The likeness of a positive outcome had the same probabilities of a negative one, a little like flipping a coin.

The sound of the front door slamming sounded from downstairs. Jim jolted backwards. The coin had been flipped for him and the odds had not been in favour.  Propelling across the room, Jim all but dived onto the stereo plug, flipping the power socket t the wall and letting the speakers frazzled out abruptly. If Gillian was home, Jim knew that a confrontation would be waiting if he was found to not be at school.  At the sound of footsteps up the stairs, Jim grabbed Seb, clapping his hand over the other’s mouth and squeezing the two of them under the bed. It was simply an extra precaution but one Jim had always taken since he was a child.

Seb’s breath was shallow as Jim clung to him, silently suffocating in the cramped space under Jim’s bed. The creaking of the floorboard subsided and one of the doors across the landing opened and closed. Jim let out a long exhale through his nose. Seb gently squeezed his wrist.

“Do you want to come round mine?” Seb whispered. Jim bit his lip and nodded. Crawling out from under the bed, Seb slides open the bedroom window and drops down the drainpipe. Once on the ground, Seb holds out his arms to Jim who is follows after Seb down the pipe, feet and fingers latching in the brackets and the brick work. Ignoring Seb’s outstretched arms, Jim drops down onto the gravel. Jim gives Seb a look before linking their arms together.

“I’m perfectly capable of things without your assistance.” Jim says playfully, but running off into the street and pulling Seb along with him

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Hey Jimmy.” Jim looked up from the latest issue of Vanity Fair as his elder brother burst into his bedroom without knocking  “Got a job for you twerp.”

Suddenly the magazine is out of Jim’s hands and thrown hitting the opposite wall with a smack and flutter of pages. Jim scowled at his brother, folding his arms across his chest and glaring.

“What do you want?” Jim spat bitterly.

“Some of my uni documents need signing, something to do with transactions from mum’s bank account into mine. I didn’t pay too much attention to it. Just be a good boy and get it sorted will you...get mum to sign.”

Jim sighed. ‘Getting mum to sign’ was code for ‘get your forgery pens ready Jim.’

“Fine, but what do I get for it, you know I charge.”

“Twenty quid and the latest issue of Vogue”

“There is no way I’m committing felony for twenty quid.”

“Forty then.”

“ Fifty and no less, you also owe me money from last time so I believe that makes it ninety, I’ll give you a ten pound discount because I’m nice.”

Gillian growled but accepted. Jim smiled when a fat issue of Vogue, alongside the bank documents, was placed into his outstretched hands. The money would come later when the act was complete.

His mother’s signature and general handwriting was second nature to Jim. When Jim was younger his parents never signed a consent slips for school trips, or payments or anything for that matter. It wasn’t clear if they were just strict, over protecting or simply not interested, all Jim and his brother’s knew was that they had to take matters into their own hands. Forgery was simple, with a steady hand, attention to detail and a good memory and as luck had it, Jim was gifted in all three aspects.

Having a criminal flare was also useful, and it was something that the two youngest Moriarty brothers’s had a stomach for.

Jim’s criminal life was not as colourful as some liked to think. He had never had a taste for killing insects or small animals as a child, which according to record was a common trait in the lives convicted killers. Jim was more a petty criminal, stealing from stalls and corners shops, pick pocketing, forgery, he prided himself on hacking into the school database one time without being caught. There was no underlining reason, Jim just got bored and the challenge was thrilling.

Taking the document to his desk, Jim switched on the lamp and took signature samples out from the top desk draw. Using a black pen, Jim copied his mother’s signature perfectly with long, feminine strokes which had wound its way into his natural handwriting after years of forging.

He waited a couple of hours before venturing out of his bedroom and following the smell of cigarette smoke down to the kitchen where his brother sat at the tiny round table. Jim inhaled deeply through his nose, shivering as the passive smoke filled his lungs and holding it until his lung screamed for release.  Cigarettes had a scent Jim couldn’t get enough of.  Gillian looked up from his university textbook, spotting the document in Jim hand and holding out his own hand. Jim eyed it, drawing the hand with the document in backwards as the other reached forward.

“First my money.” Jim said coldly. Last time he had been coned out of his money and there was not a chance in hell that it would happen again. Gillian raised his eyebrows, taking the cigarette between his fingers and blowing smoke in Jim’s direction.

“You know that isn’t how this works little brother, now hand it over”

It would be at this point that the eldest Moriarty brother, Shawn, would intervene. He would take Jim by the shoulder and move in front of him, telling Gillian to leave Jim alone and the two would glare at each other, facing off like rival lions before Gillian unwillingly obeyed. But Shawn now lived in Belfast and Belfast was very far away.

“I know you have the money; I’ve seen it, so give it to me.” Jim growled. Gillian stood, stepping forward and Jim took a cautious step back. A jolt of fear spread through Jim’s stomach but he refused to be walked all over.

“Yeah I’ll give it to you later Jim.” Gillian said smoothly but Jim shook his head, dodging as his elder brother made a grab for the document. Jim ducked under the other’s arm and leaned against the counter. He took the document in both hands, wiggling the edges back and forth and pulling lightly. Gillian froze and Jim grinned.

“I’ll do it, it would be so easy to rip it in two, or three, of four. So give me my money and  I’ll give you yours and that way everyone is happy.”

 “Don’t you dare.”

“Try me.”

Jim’s cockiness only lasted for a split second. Gillian lunged forward, grabbing Jim by the wrists and bending them in wrong direction. Jim yelped, the document falling from his hands as his fingers crippled. It fluttered to the floor and landed softly on the tiling. Pain flared in Jim’s wrists as he tried to move to ease the angle his wrists were held at. His mind blanked as he begged, pleading his brother to let him go.

Eventually Gillian let go of Jim’s wrists, grabbing the back of Jim’s head and slamming his face down hard onto the table.  Jim gritted his teeth and watched as Gillian ground out his cigarette in the see through ash tray right next to Jim’s face. His face hurt and his wrists which we now pinned behind his back were sore. He cringed as Gillian stale nicotine breath washed over him.

“Know your place brother.”  Gillian hissed, finally letting go. Jim closed his eyes and allowed his legs to collapse from beneath him. slumping in a heap on the tiling, Jim breathed evenly to try and calm his racing heart, ignoring the tears which had pooled in his eyes.

Gillian shook his head, picking the document off the floor and turned back to Jim. Digging around his trouser pocket he took change from his pocket and flicked it onto the floor. Jim watched as the ten pence coin clatter onto the kitchen floor next to his hand.

Gillian walked off, whistling as if it was a job well done.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you don’t use your mobile.” Jim tutted, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his thick high collar coat and leaning against the wall. Droplets of condensation rolled down the yellow paintwork which was sticky with grease. Sebastian shrugged, fishing notes out of his wallet and passing them over to the person at the counter.

The pair stood in a cheap Chinese take away shop which lay only a few streets away from Sebastian’s house.  The Dublin air was unusually cold for January and the windows of the take out were steamed up with heat from the kitchen. It reminded Jim for the first night Seb had asked him out to dinner almost two months ago.

“I just don’t see the point in it, it’s not like I need it or anything.” Seb defended as he took the white plastic bag filled with two number 6’s, two cans of coke and a side portion of prawn crackers. They skipped the fortune cookies, neither of them believing that fate lay on a simple slip of paper.  

“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” Jim said, opening the door and holding it open for Sebastian. He was silently thankful that Seb hadn’t asked about the bruises on his wrists and he walked cheerfully at the other’s side.

“To you yes, you’re permanently attached to that iphone of yours.”

“And in the 21th century that is not an extraordinary thing.”  

Seb pulled his coat tighter around him with one hand and rolled his eyes. Jim noticed and elbowed I’m sharply in the ribs.

“C’mon , you know where I am if you need me....not that you need me anyway but it’s not like I live thousands of miles away.”

Jim scowled, bowing his head and kicking a stone on the pavement with the toe of his converse trainers.

“But what if you leave?” Jim whispered.

Seb frowned, chuckling and wrapping his spare arm around Jim’s shoulders.

“I’m not going anywhere , not yet anyway.”

It was only a ten minute walked from the Chinese take out to Seb’s house and they quickly found themselves back in Seb’s kitchen.  Sebastian’s mother had gone to her friends for the evening and Arthur was in the living room watching what sounded like a James Bond film from the muffled chatter of the television from behind the closed door. Jim looked out of the sliding French doors which lead onto the night darkened garden as Seb moved around him fetching cutlery.

“Seb.” Jim cooed “Can we eat outside?”

“What? No it’s freezing out there.” Seb protested, looking in Jim direction and shivering at the thought of going back out there.  

“Please, I see your mother has placed fairy lights on arbour, it would be shame not to appreciate her handy work.”

“They’ve been there since we moved in Jim.”

“And I am still yet to see them lit.” Seb sighed in defeat.

“Fine, grab some blankets from upstairs and I’ll meet you out there.”

Jim grinned, squealing in delight before running off upstairs. It made Seb smile and a warm feelings spread in his gut as he gathered up the take away and opened the sliding doors. Outside it was freezing and Seb’s breath fogged in the night as he ran up to the arbour and placed the bag of food onto the paving slabs. The arbour was Sebastian mother’s pride and joy, decorated with fairy lights and climbing plants which would flower in the spring.  Quickly running into the shed, Seb grabbed a pair of solar powered camping lanterns and allowed the white light to glow in the darkness.

The sound of the sliding doors slamming shut made Sebastian look up. He laughed as Jim came waddling up the garden, arms piled high with blankets. Jim scowled at Seb and dumped the blankets on the paving slabs.

It didn’t take long to organize the blankets into a spread out heap and soon the two boys were wrapped in fleeces and sat on a thick duvet with tubs of chow mien noodles and egg friends rice between them. The fairy light glow like little amber fireflies above their heads and the white light from the camping lanterns outlined Jim’s soft features perfectly.  

“You can see Orion again.” Jim mumbled with a mouthful of noodles as he looked up at the stars. Seb smirked, looking up and instantly spotting the constellation Jim had taught him to see what seemed like so long ago.

“Orion was a hunter.” Jim muttered distantly, no fully aware of what he ws saying “got killed by a scorpion or something like that... I haven’t read the myth. It’s a myth after all, something primitive people used to explain the existence of giant balls of gas burning somewhere several light years away in space.  I guess it was a lot more interesting back then.”

“I thought you liked science. “ Seb pointed out, teeth crunching on a prawn cracker. Jim nodded and then scowled.

“Yes but its so boring isn’t it, everything is so boring. Everyone is made up of the same structure of bones and organs and muscles, all of us gooey bags of blood and meat each desperate to  be anything but ordinary. It’s so stupid.”

Seb could tell that Jim was in one of those moods where he didn’t make much sense, but he listened despite the fact Jim wasn’t all there. 

“If Orion was real.” Jim said, pushing the empty box of noodles away and lying back against Seb with his head in the other’s lap. “Then he probably had children, I mean, butch hunters often got around a bit.”

Seb laughed at that, pulling the blanket up around Jim’s shoulders. Jim smiled, twisting onto his side and tugging the edge of the blanket up to his chin. Seb ran his fingers through his hair and pulled the blanket around his shoulders a little tighter as a breeze of cold air whirled around them. Jim’s eyes were closed and he was rubbing the light bruised on his left wrist.

“I reckon you’d be Orion Sebastian.”  Jim muttered.

“Are you saying that I’m terribly butch and I sleep around a lot?”

“No”

There was a pause before Jim spoke again

“But I reckon that I’d be the scorpion, always the winner in the end.”

Seb shook his head and smiled. He didn’t take what Jim said seriously when he was half asleep, most of it was rambling which he wouldn’t remember in the morning and by the time Seb had finished the last of the prawn crackers Jim was fast asleep in his lap.

Gently easing Jim’s head off his lap, Seb gathered the empty boxes of Chinese takeout and placed them back into the plastic bag. Then he carefully gathered Jim into his arms, carrying him bridal style back into the house, Jim’s head against his shoulder with his arms tucked on top of his belly.

As Seb walked through the hallway, the front door opened and his mother walked in, slipping her shoes off. She looked up and took one look at her eldest son with his boyfriend asleep in his arms and paused. Seb smiled and she reluctantly smiled back, something close to sadness in her eyes.

__________________________________________________________________________________

It was Sunday. Seb had done his normal routine of homework, lounging and boxing and had just had one of the warmest showers of his life.  Practising in a shed with no heating was still cold no matter how hard he exercised and the warm water rolling over his skin, washing away the cold gritty sweat was like heaven. 

Normally Jim would be over, curled up in Sebastian grey duvet eating marmalade on toast and sipping some of the herbal teas Sebastian’s mother kept.  Sometimes he would complain about not being allowed to listen to the CD selection he had bought along with him and other times he would happily sing along to Ella Fitzgerald whilst wearing one of Seb’s thick jumpers and getting the sleeved sticky with marmalade. But this time Jim had decided not to come round just because he didn’t feel like it.

Pulling on a pair of jogging bottoms, Seb went downstairs in the hope of lying on the sofa and watching old black and white films which his mother adored.

“Sebastian, can you come here for a moment.” The soft sound of his mother’s voice called from the kitchen and Seb willingly did as he was told. Inside the kitchen, Arthur sat at the breakfast bar, drumming his fingers on the counter as his mother stood near the oven. She looked exhausted.  Seb took a seat next to his brother, propping his face up with his hand. Their mother took a deep breath, playing with the fabric of his dress nervously. Just as the two Moran brothers started to become worried, she raised her chin and set her lips in a firm line.

“Sebastian, Arthur....you’re father and I have been discussing and he has requested that we move back to London.”

The silence was deafening. The words hadn’t registered yet, they fused in Sebastian’s ears, jumbling together and slowing the process of his brain. His mother swallowed and reluctantly continue .

“We think it is best for you boys to be back with your father in a place where you can reach your full potential. I know we have been in Ireland for almost three years now and we have all settled in nicely but- ”

“Wait what?” The words had suddenly registered and the words burst from Seb’s mouth. He felt like an oncoming train had just hit him and his body was now set alight upon the electric tracks.  Seb swallowed but his mouth was dry. “But....but what about Jim, I, I can’t, not yet.”

“Sebastian I know it’s hard but you must consider the future and-”

“No, don’t say that, you don’t mean it mum you’re only doing what he’s telling you to do.” Seb snarled, fist clenching as he closed his eyes tight. Arthur eased off the bar stool and went to stand next to the wall away from his brother and his growing rage.

“Seb sweetheart please you must understand.” Seb’s mother said, nodded to Arthur who disappeared out of the room.

“But I don’t understand. We are all happier here, I don’t see why you put up with him, and I don’t see why he should be allowed to ruin everything.”  His mother’s mouth twisted downwards and her eyebrows arched. She wrapped her arms around her eldest son and he pressed his face into  her shoulder.

“I know, but there isn’t anything I can do, you have to understand that Sebastian, you have to understand that for me.”

“I said I wouldn’t leave” Whispered Seb, clinging to his mother tightly “I said I wouldn’t leave just yet.” 


	9. A Lesson in Parting Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the long wait and the lack of proof reading. I wrote most of this on the train back home from London on the weekend as school and studying has been getting in the way.

The plan was the tell Jim on the Monday. Sebastian had planned it out in his head, he’d sit Jim down as soon as they met in their corner of the school library, say he had something he needed to say and get it over with right there and then. It was like ripping off a plaster, it had to be done in one hard pull. What happened afterwards Sebastian hadn’t thought about. He didn’t want to break up with Jim , but a long distance relationship only twinkled like a far off light in the knowledge of how strict Sebastian’s father was.

Sebastian sat at the small table, drumming his fingers nervously on the top and glancing at the clock. Jim was late, by ten minutes and break time was running short. Time was running out to be able to talk about this properly before the bell went and next lesson began.  The wait was not long though as Jim suddenly rounded behind the bookshelf, his face a painting of rage as he stalked over to the chair. Screeching in protest the chair was yanked out from under the table, bag flung carelessly onto the floor as an angered Jim Moriarty sat down with a growl.

Now was probably not a good time. Seb bit his lip, knowing that his information wasn’t going to help lighten the mood.

“They’re refusing to let me go.” Jim spat bitterly, fist balling as he glared at the scuff on the corner of the table. The paint could curl and flake off the walls under the scrutiny of that heated glare. Inside Seb cringed.

The annual maths tournament had swung round, where teams of students from each school competed against each other for the title of ‘mathematic champions’. Seb didn’t know much about it, math didn’t interest him, but for Jim it meant everything.  Since joining secondary school it had been Jim’s goal to get on that team, he knew he would as he was much smarter than the other children, but his notorious bad social behaviour and constant mouthing off to his math teacher got him turned down time after time.  The idea of a younger Jim Moriarty, back chatting his old maths teacher and attempting to take control of the learning process in a vicious battle of mathematic intellect was amusing to Sebastian.

 But this year, a new maths teacher, a graduate student who was teaching professionally for the first time, had graced Jim with his classroom presence.  Jim had charmed the teacher with his superior knowledge and ability, shining like a supernova over the other students and finally his application for the team had not been turned down. Jim was ecstatic. Geniuses’ need an audience and the chance to show off had Jim jittering with overjoyed excitement for the past week.

“Turned down Sebastian, and for something so stupid.” Jim growled eyes narrowing as he hit the table with his balled fist.  Seb hummed, knowing that he had no suitable input at that moment in time. 

“It isn’t even because I’ve messed up. I’ve handed in my homework on time, got full marks on everything, I’ve even been nice to the idiot and the only reason I’m not allowed to go is because I haven’t been seeing student support on a biweekly basis to talk about my ‘issues’”

Seb bit the inside of his cheek. Jim didn’t talk about it much, but Seb was aware of his so called social and mental difficulties. Everyone was aware that Jim had been taken out of class on several occasions to talk with the school guidance councillor about his lack of social ability and traits of anti-social behaviour.  Jim kept his mouth tight lipped over the subject and hadn’t once talked to Sebastian about his file, detailing his lack of family support, the mental diagnostic of his elder brothers and himself. Bi-polar, ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome and several other minor disorders ran through the three Moriarty brothers, each one of their behaviour defects noted and categorised and cross—reference in an attempt to make sure than neither one of them turned into a criminal or a threat to other children they attended school with. A social worker had only made rounds to their house when Jim was a child, but those visits were short and brief and stopped after only a couple of months.

It was also common knowledge that Jim didn’t go to his student guidance sessions. He skipped the session easily, stubbornly refusing to budge from his seat when collected from class, pelting down the hall and hiding himself away when he was eventually moved from class, hiding until they gave up looking and simply returning to class. The school gave up. Jim didn’t disturb learning or other students unless threatened, so it was best to leave him.

“I don’t even know why it should make a difference. That stupid woman isn’t going to make people like me anymore and she certainly isn’t going to make me like them either so what’s the point in letting her poke about my head? It’s not any of her business how my brother’s treat me or how my relationship is with my parents or how I feel in certain situations.” Jim was ranting, pushing out of his chair and pacing back and forth in front of the table. Seb knew Jim wasn’t talking directly at him; he was just an audience to the bubbling fury taking place.

“Apparently, the uncertainty of how I will deal with highly stressed situations like team competition means I cannot be trusted to take part. What do they think I’m going to do, grievously attack my own team mates if they get the answer wrong? They wouldn’t have a chance to get the answer wrong because I would have figured it out before they even had a finger on the buzzer. It would have been easy, not stressful, and even if it was I’m not going to have a breakdown in front of everyone, I have enough dignity not to be so petty.”

Sebastian caught onto the quietly mumbled ‘there’s nothing wrong with me’ coming from Jim’s mouth as he flopped himself back down into the chair after delivering a sharp kick to his bag. He sighed, taking a deep breath, eyes fixated at the area of wall to the left of Sebastian’s head.

“He said to give the other students a chance. They don’t need a chance, they’re not special.”

“And you are?” The words left Seb’s mouth before he had a chance to mentally reel them in. Jim’s eyes snapped to attention, looking straight in Sebastian’s eyes with a blank stare.

“Yes.” Was all he said.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Three days had passed and still Sebastian had been unable to tell Jim about the move. The problem was he was quickly running out of time. In one week Sebastian would be boarding a plane to Heathrow airport, items packed, furniture donated, house empty and up for sale and still Seb’s tongue was tied.

Jim’s mood had been the reason behind his hesitation.  It had been grey at the beginning of the week and as the days passed it had turned positively black. Conversation was difficult as Jim was prone to snap in irritation or simply ignore what was being said to him. Seb didn’t know what he could do anymore.

“I take it you told Jim then?” Seb looked up from wrapping plates in newspaper and placing them in a donation box, scowling at his brother who sat across the room. Arthur was looking out the living room window, pausing in his task which was identical to his older brother’s.

“No” Seb said bluntly “He’s been in a shit mood and he hasn’t given me a chance.”

“Well it looks like you’re about that chance because he’s walking up the road now.”

“What!” Seb propelled himself off the floor and other to the window, batting away the translucent lace curtain and pressing his face against the glass. Sure enough Jim was turning into the driveway, dressed in black, hands in pockets as he strolled through the early morning fog.  Jim looked up, looking straight at Seb through the window as he walked. Seb yelped and flung himself away from the window.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.” Walking about the living room, Seb delved his fingers into his hair and pulled in frustration.  “Fuck it this isn’t supposed to happen.”

“I think you should stop swearing.” Arthur stated in a mater-of-fact voice, crossing his arms and sliding off the windowsill as the door bell rang.  Seb growled, grabbing his brother by the collar in his panic.

“Now is not the time for jokes.” The door bell rang again. Seb bit his lip, releasing his hold and moving it to his brother’s shoulders. “He’s not stupid Arty, he’ll figure it out as soon as I open the door....and with the way he’s been acting lately I don’t know what he’s going to do. What am I going to do?”

The sound of the front door lock clicking and the squeak of door hinges moving sounded through the living room. Seb froze as footsteps padded across the carpet. He looked up.  Jim stood in the living room doorway, eyes quickly darting around the room with the spare front door key which was hidden under the plant pot gripped tightly in his hand. When those quick witted, calculated eyes met Sebastian’s it was all over. Jim dropped the key which landed with a thud on the carpet.

“Jim” Seb sighed. Jim’s jaw tensed before he turned sharply on his heel and strode from the room.

“Wait!” Seb shouted, swearing under his breath before running after the other. The front door had been left open and Seb could see Jim walking quickly through the fog. Still dressed in a thin t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, Seb ran barefooted after him.

Outside the early morning was foggy and the pavement was freezing against the soles of Sebastian’s feet. There was no breeze but light grey rainclouds clouded the sky and there is a chill to the air. Jim walks surprisingly fast and Seb chases after him down the street, passed rows of houses, feet slapping the paving slabs as he calls Jim’s name. Neighbours who are out in their gardens this early in the morning look over their brick walls and fences and car roves, curious as to what the fuss was about.

“Jim for fucks sake wait!” Seb shouts for the last time, finally grabbing Jim’s shoulder and whirling him round. They faced each other, Jim’s face devoid of emotion as he stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I was going to tell you.” Seb said desperately “I wanted to tell you straight away but I couldn’t find the right moment and-”

“It’s okay.”

Seb paused, and then frowned. Jim looked back at him, his lack of expression made Seb feel uneasy.

“What do you mean its okay?”

“I mean its okay. You’re moving and you didn’t tell me and I had to find out for myself and that’s okay,”

Speechless Seb stood back. His frown deepened. It was almost heartbreaking.

“But-”

Jim gave an exasperated sigh and unfolded his arms.

“But what Seb? I said to you at the beginning that this isn’t some kind of teenage drama so what did you expect me to do? Did you want me to scream at you for not telling me? Maybe it would be a nice touch if I cried or I hit you or begged you not to go.”

There was a tremor in Jim’s fingers and it wasn’t from the cold. He breathed and when he spoke again his voice was softer.

“The truth Seb is that you’re leaving and that you didn’t tell me and there is nothing I can do about that, and that’s okay. People leave without saying goodbye all the time, so let’s not make a big deal about something that I don’t care about.”

Seb swallowed and there was a pain his chest which he had never felt before as Jim turned his back once again.

“Jim....wait.”

“Goodbye Sebastian.”

Standing there, barefooted in the middle of the street, Sebastian watched as Jim walked down the street without turning back.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Jim didn’t cry until he turned the corner at the bottom of the street. Wrapping his arms around his body, he sniffed, crumpling to the pavement with his back against the wall of someone’s garden. The leaves of a bush growing on the other side scratched the back of Jim’ neck as he hugged his knees to his chest.

He knew Seb wouldn’t follow him; he didn’t have the will power to follow him any longer.  It wasn’t supposed to work like this, Sebastian was the only normal and safe thing in Jim’s life, he wasn’t supposed to just disappear so quickly. Jim gritted his teeth and hid his face against his knees. Inside he cursed himself for caring, for growing so attached that things actually started to matter.  It wasn’t how Jim’s emotions worked, he sort to remain unattached and above it all so that nothing could hurt him and yet here he was in the more pathetic state anyone could get into.

A couple walked down the street and looked down at the sobbing teen as they passed; they offered no comfort just gave a wide berth and carried on their way.  This was pathetic and gathering what little dignity he had left, Jim picked himself off the pavement and harshly wiped his face with his coat sleeve.  Crying wasn’t something he allowed himself to stoop to often and the idea that he had broken down in the middle of the street was sickening.

Pocketing his hands, Jim pulled his collar up high around his neck and carried on home in the fog.

__________________________________________________________________________________

First thing on Monday morning there was chemistry. There was no avoiding the ineffable tense meeting which was bound to happen as soon as Sebastian took his seat that day, but the work bench was empty as Seb walked into class that morning. Dumping his bag and sliding onto the stool, Seb looked at the empty space to his side. It was unusual for Jim to miss school considering he disliked staying at home so a wave of worry hit Seb as he unpacked his bag.

“Hi Sebastian.” Seb cringed at the sing-song tone that cooed his name. Turning he saw a mass of long blonde hair and large eyes and slightly see through shirt shoved in his face. The problem with Jim’s absence was the multiple women who snapped up the spare seat and flaunted their female assists in want of attention. The girl lowered her hand from playing with her hair and onto the table.

“I hear that you’re moving.” The ‘for sale’ sign had gone up on Sunday afternoon and word was quickly spreading.  Seb looked away from her feeling tense under her made up eyes and wishing a sharp, large brown pair was looking at him instead. There was a warmth on his fingers as the girl snuck her hand onto his. Perfume washed over him as she leaned in closer, lips close to his ear.

“I’ll miss you _so_ much, maybe you could say goodbye to me sometime.” She purred. Seb flinched, sliding his hand away and trying to pay attention to the lesson.

Suddenly the door banged open. All heads turned as Jim Moriarty walked into the room, hunched and withdrawn towards himself. His blazer was missing and there was a striking plum coloured bruise on his cheek. 

“Mr Moriarty you are fifteen minutes late to class” Mr Hopkins said pausing in his lecture. Jim said nothing, simply walking through the rows of work benches towards his normal place, glaring at the girl who occupied his seat. She cowered under his gaze, quickly evacuating the space and retreating to her normal space. Jim silently took his seat and the lesson started again.

“What happened?” Seb whispered not being able to take his eyes off the dark bruise.

“it’s nothing”

“You’re joking right? That there isn’t nothing.”

“Can you just leave it”

“Was it Carl? I swear to god if it was then I’ll-”

“Mr Moran.” Seb stopped mid rant. Mr Hopkins glared at him. “If you could stop hissing at Mr Moriarty until the bell I think the whole class will be grateful.” Seb nodded, ducking his head and waiting until the droning started again before looking back at Jim.  To his surprise Jim wasn’t glaring at him, instead he looked upon Seb with near exhausted eyes.

“it has nothing to do with Carl, so if you could just leave it I would be happy.” Jim whispered lowly before turning away and jotting notes down in his exercise book. Seb looked at the bruise, and then down at the smaller finger shaped bruises which decorated Jim’s wrist. He didn’t want to leave it but continuing on the subject would only aggravate Jim more, so instead Seb doodled in margin of his book.

The class dragged on as always, formula for various chemical build ups scrawled across the board. There was no practical so notes were copied from the text book with little enthusiasm. Eventually the bell rang and the stool screeched against the floor as class was dismissed.

“I don’t want to say goodbye Jim.” Seb said quietly as he took his bag out from under his chair. Jim said nothing as he slung the bag strap over his shoulder. He waited with his arms crossed waiting for Seb to expand.

“I’m leaving yes, but I don’t want to never see you again and you’re an idiot for thinking I would ever want to say goodbye to you.” There was a pause as the students filed out of the class around them. Jim yawned out of boredom before turning to walk away.  

“Fine then, if that if what you want then we shall try it.” Seb smirked, adjusting his bag strap before following after Jim like always.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“What do you want doing with these books?”

“What colour sticker do they have?”

“.... Blue”

“Then put them in the donation box.”

Placing the stack of hard back novel in the cardboard box, Jim flopped back onto the mattress. The furniture of Seb’s room had been dismantled and replaced with boxes and stacks of objects waiting to be packed. Seb sat on the floor folding items of clothing and pacing them neatly into a suitcase. The lack of order was driving his earl shaped military mind mad but there was little he could do about it.

It was Wednesday and there was very little time left.  Jim had been coming over to help pack which was a bittersweet experience for both of them. They had exchanged email and Seb had promised to use his phone more often but still the idea of a long distance relationship was hard to bare.

“What is London like?” Jim asked as he stared at the ceiling. Seb got up, walking about the room for items to place in his suitcase.

“very busy all the time, you would like it as there is plenty of chaos.” Seb dropped down onto the mattress, leaning back so his back touched Jim’s chest. Jim bought his arms around him.

“I’ll make sure to show you when you visit.” Seb stated.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever visit.”

“Don’t be stupid of course you’ll visit.”

Jim ran his fingers through Seb’s blonde hair, breathing in his kiwi shampoo. He doubted he would ever be allowed to travel to London, not on his own anyway.

“Oh I have a gift for you.” Seb announced, wiggling off the mattress and over to the stack of boxes by the opposite wall. he gathered one of the boxes into his arms and thrust it into Jim’s hold.

“It’s stuff I can’t take with me, but I couldn’t bear to donate so I wanted to leave them in safe hands.”

The box wasn’t sealed and had ‘JIM’ printed on the side with marker pen. Inside was a collection of books , CDs and items which were personal to Seb but too large to fit in a suit case, including his battered boxing gloves.

“I.... I don’t understand, why are you giving me these?” Jim asked running his hand over the soft grey hoody with a wash faded cartoon crocodile on the pocket. He hated that jumper and teased Seb for wearing it. Seb shrugged.

“I guess it’s what people do when they leave.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

It was oddly sunny that Thursday but a chilling breeze prevented it from being warm and Jim cursed himself for leaving his blazer behind in his rush to leave the house yet again. Gillian had been in a particularly sour mood since the eldest Moriarty brother, Shawn, had returned to Dublin to visit for the week, and Jim was quick to get out of Gillian’s way.

Shawn’s presence was a welcome one as for as Jim was concerned as his kind nature was a pleasant change. He was the only one of the three brothers who didn’t have the makings of a criminal and wasn’t hated by his peers. However he was also the only brother with little to no ambition in his life. Jim liked him because unlike Gillian, Shawn was easy to walk all over.

Walking across campus towards the library Jim thought for the millionth time about Seb’s leaving. Surprisingly he wasn’t scared by the idea of the protection Seb’s companionship provided disappearing, Jim knew something within him had changed and he wasn’t going to hide anymore. Slowing in his stride, Jim changed direction and made his way up to the athletics field. Thursday lunch was when Seb had circuit train as part of his gym class and he would always come to Jim near the end of lunch flushed and sweating. The idea of Seb running in a clingy t-shirt and shorts was appealing especially from what Jim had seen of his body.

Climbing up the steps and through the gate into the small field, Jim leaned against the metal fencing, searching for a mess of blonde hair and a white t-shirt with ‘London Fun Run 2010” across the back which Seb always wore when doing gym. Shielding his eyes against the sun Jim spied Seb across the circuit, bent over his bag to grab his water and write down his lap time. His earphones were in his ears and Jim could bet that some kind of swing jazz was playing out of them.

Seb looked up, spotting Jim and waving to him in acknowledgement. Jim didn’t wave back, merely started to make his way over to him, not accustom to usual friendly hellos. As Jim walked he spied the blonde girl from his English class jog over to Seb, taking his very much by surprise. Jim watched as his labelled arch enemy flirted, herding Seb towards the fence where he was less likely to escape.  Feeling himself start to steam with fury, Jim frowned as the urge to break a limp grew. He had had enough with this and before Seb left it was time to show everyone who exactly Seb belonged to all this time.  Quickening, Jim stormed with an air of fearless determination over to the two of them.

“Jim” Seb squeaked in a mixture or relief and desperation. The blonde girl tossed her hair and shot Jim a sour look, as if he was a fly buzzing around a drink in the summer.

“And what the hell do _you_ want?”  She sneered. Jim resisted the urge to snarl possessive insults at her, instead opting to push her to the side. Balling his fists in the damp cotton t-shirt, Seb barely had time to yelp with surprise as he was dragged down into a kiss.

Seb blinked in surprise before quickly relaxing and wrapping his arms around Jim’s slim form. This had to be the most exciting kiss they had ever shared and this time there was an audience.  For a moment Jim wondered if this is what normal couples did, kiss in the middle of an athletic field just because they could. Of course they did, there were enough people who found the need to kiss in the middle of the park and in the school corridors so why not here and now?

Jim pulled back. Palms’ lying flat on Seb’s chest and arms still around him, Jim was suddenly aware of the amount of people who had turned to look their way, whispering to their friends, giggling and some just staring.  Jim smiled.  Seb smiled back. Seb tightened his arms around Jim and pulled him back into a kiss, this time teasing his tongue over his bottom lip. There was nothing giddy about this kiss, they had done it so many times that the giddy rush had faded and it was something normal, but there was something bold about it something similar to a statement.

The next time they pulled back there was clapping. Jim flushed at the sound, finally looking around at the people stood about the pitch smiling and clapping their hands together for him. Seb laughed, shifting so Jim was the crook of his arm pressed flush against his side.

“Do you feel like going to last lesson?” Jim asked tilting his head into the sun. Seb shrugged.

“Considering I’ve got one day left....no I’m not particularly fond of going to last lesson.”

“Great.” Jim stepped out of Sebastian’s arms and grabbed his hand instead, dragging the taller boy after him. “I feel like having something sweet.”

Hand in hand they walked off the field and slipped away, walking until they were long out of sight.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The air conditioning was on inside the airport that Saturday, a thick cold breeze attempting to banish away the equally as thick heat coming from everywhere else. The three Morans stood in a long queue waiting to load their luggage through security. The desk was yet to be opened yet businessmen and tourists found the need to queue. 

Seb was already feeling sour and they had only been standing there for ten minutes. Arthur had perched himself on the edge of his up righted suitcase with his headphones clamped over his ears and their mother was checking her hang luggage for passports and tickets for the millionth time since they had left the house.

“Sebastian darling can you at least pretend to be mildly happy about this, or at least try not to stand there was that awful scowl on your face?” Seb’s mother sighed pushing her sunglasses further into her dark hair. Seb flashed a grin before quickly wiping it off his face, crossing his arms over his chest in silent protest.  His mother raised an eyebrow, signalling her lack of amusement.

“Fine then, but I’m not happy and I’m not going to pretend to be when I see dearest Papa.”  Seb said childishly, eyes drifting to the front airport doors.

“Will you stop being a child over this? You’re not the only one who isn’t pleased about this but the rest of us are living with it. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Seb flinched as his mother snapped at him. He looked over at Arthur who was oblivious to the conversation and released how selfish he was being about this. He ducked his head in shame.

“I’m sorry.” Seb said “You don’t have to apologize for anything....it’s not your fault.”

Sighing again, Seb’s mother opened her arms and enveloped her eldest son in a hug, Seb looked over her shoulder as she did, bent slightly at the waist to hug her shorter frame.  But there, walking through the airport doors was another short figure he was similar with, dressed in stylish torn jeans and a t-shirt and sliding sunglasses into his hair was Jim.

“Jim!” Seb exclaimed as he pulled out of the hug. Jim looked over to him, smiling a small smile and strolling across the tiles. Ducking under the fabric barrier, Seb jogged across the airport floor and straight into Jim’s awaiting arms.

“I thought you were just going ‘let me gallivant off to London’?” Jim smirked at that. The previous night when Seb had sat on Jim’s bed, Jim had stated that he wouldn’t come to the airport to say goodbye and would much rather allow him to disappear without recognition. The statement had hurt, but Seb didn’t argue against it and now he was being pleasantly surprised.

“Well, I have a habit of changing my mind. I suddenly decided that I couldn’t set a good looking boy like you loose in the wild before seeing him safely on his way.” The sound of the check in desk opening went across the airport floor and the queue started to move slowly.

Seb’s laugh was bittersweet. They stood with their arms around each other, neither willing to let go of the other.

“Well I guess this is goodbye.” Seb said quietly, lips curving downwards.

“You told me that we didn’t have to say goodbye”

“We don’t but-”

“Then don’t”

The kiss they shared was desperate, intended to act as the brief goodbye they couldn’t say. The queue was moving quicker now and Seb could hear his name being called by his mother. He pulled back reluctantly.

“I’ll miss you; there is no one quite like Jim Moriarty in London.” Seb said. Jim smiled and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Seb’s cheek.

“Then I am saved from having a rival. Now I think it’s time you go.” Sharing a final chaste kiss, Jim pushed Seb’s shoulders hard. They smiled at each other before Seb turned away and ducked back into the queue.

To Jim’s surprise, he stayed and watched long after his boyfriend had disappeared into the terminal. 


	10. Separate Equations

“Where you been twerp?”

“I went out”

“No shit, I gathered that.”

Jim rolled his eyes, ignoring his older brother completely as he made his way upstairs. A hollow feeling had crept into his bones which made his movements slow and his train of thought fast. It wasn’t heartbreak, nor did it feel close to any sense of loss, but it was a change that twisted his insides and warped his mind.

“Hey, I’m talking to you.” Gillian shouted from the living room, the heavy thud of his footsteps emerging in the hallway to follow after his brother was punctuated.  Jim stopped at the foot of the stairs, debating on whether he should run for his life or call for Shawn.

“Can you just leave me alone?” He mutters quietly looking down at the step as his fingers balled against his thigh.

“Excuse me?”

“I said, leave me alone.”

The arm came out of nowhere, slamming against his rib cage as another twisted his shoulder until he was pinned back against the wall. Wrist pushing into his throat, Jim glared at his older brother, registering the dull pain which emanated from the back of his head. Gillian’s teeth were bared at him, a familiar glint of rage burning in his eyes and Jim just smirked at him.

“What you going to do huh?” Jim rasped, fingers clawing at the arm slowly blocking his airways. His eyes drifted to his brother’s balled fist. “Are you going to punch me again? Best to make it all look uniformed and this cheek is looking remarkably pale don’t you think?”

Jim snarled, twisting his face to show the fading purple bruise on his cheek.  It was still sore but the swelling had gone down the purple now had a trim of yellow. If anyone asked, he said he tripped and fell down the stairs which was a ridiculous excuse but people seemed to buy it.

Gillian tensed at the bait. Jim knew he would, his brother although short tempered and controlling was predicable in every sense of the word.  There was movement somewhere else in the hallway and suddenly Gillian’s weight vanished. Jim coughed, one hand gingerly touching the reddened skin of his neck.

“What the hell are you doing?” Shawn said scornfully, holding the middle brother by the shoulders and glaring at him. Gillian sneered at him, pushing out of his older brother’s grip and disappearing back into the living room. Shawn sighed, arms falling limp at his side as he shifted his gaze to look at Jim.

Jim stared back. He looks at Shawn, Shawn who is tall with long hair and skinny limps. Shawn who fails at dressing himself respectfully and listens to heavy metal and just happens to be the nicest guy anyone will meet. But he’s never had a back bone, he’s never had any aspiration in his life and he is so easy to walk all over it’s embarrassing. Jim hates him sometimes, hates his eldest brother for being the exact opposite to him, and hates him for being a complete hopeless idiot.

“Are you okay?” But when Shawn opens his mouth and acts like the parental unit Jim hardly knows about, Jim cannot find it within himself to hate his eldest brother.

“Just leave me alone.” Jim snaps storming up the stairs towards his bedroom. Just as he cannot find it within himself to hate his brother, he cannot find it within him to be kind to him either.

__________________________________________________________________________________

London was and always would be the one place in the world Sebastian wanted to be.  Despite everything he said about the capital city being ‘not what everyone made it out to be’ Sebastian knew that his heart would always belong in the middle of the chaos.

But the rich areas the politician’s settled in their town houses were not buzzing, they were fairly quiet with all things considered.  The white townhouse was tall and narrow with pillars supporting a balcony above the front door. Green bushes grew in a window box and in large pots in front of the black front door; well at least his father had tried to make some kind of welcoming display when they pulled up into the somewhat empty street.

Sebastian watched as his mother looked upon the house with the same amount of amazement as she had when they first visited the house a few months ago. Leaning his back against the black car, Seb folded his arms and watched disinterestedly as he father wrapped a fat arm around his mother’s slender waist and led her up the stone steps towards the door, leaning in towards her and he spoke softly into her ear. Rolling his eyes, Seb took his suitcase from the driver despite the protest against doing so and trudged after them, taking pleasure in the vibrations from the pavements which shot up through his hand.  It was all a front, the thing between his parents. They had been all over each other since the airport, presenting the press with the notion of reunited lovers when in reality there was little if any love left between them if there ever had been in the first place.

Inside the house was spacious with a maze of doors and rooms stretching for down narrow corridors.  Sebastian stood with his brother at the bottom of the staircase, leaning haphazardly against his suitcase as they waited for permission to leave. Their father ran a strict system and both boys knew not to move a muscle unless told otherwise. Of course no memories were connected to this new house, but Seb couldn’t help but remember the time he had been made to stand straight backed against a brick wall and not move, not even when it had started to pour down with rain. He had stayed out there for over an hour, glaring at his father through the glass doors leading into his office where the oversized man was working. He couldn’t remember what he had done to deserve the punishment....there had been so many that Sebastian never kept track of the reasons.

“Boys would you like to unpack? There will be plenty of time to catch up with your father later.” Their mother finally said, looking over her shoulder as she was led further into the house. They wasted no time, bounding up the stairs up onto a second landing, and whilst Arthur fired up the second staircase onto the third floor, Sebastian wound his way through reception rooms towards the back of the house. The bedroom was bigger than his previous one with bare walls and a window looking out onto the small back garden, basic furnishings scattered around the room and a second door leading into his own bathroom.

Kicking off his shoes, Sebastian flopped back onto his bed, hands folded behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling. There was no point in unpacking, come Monday he would be shipped back to Eton where he would remain until Easter break.  He had already requested a short leave to go home for his seventeenth birthday in a few weeks time. However the idea of being locked back up in that school was not a welcome one and Sebastian had not once missed Eton College since leaving at the age of fifteen. 

Reaching for his plane bag, Sebastian unzipped and fished around for his phone. He had not expected Jim to text or call him and wasn’t surprised when the home screen remain blank, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t.

_‘Only been here two hours and I already feel bored out of my head’_

Tossing the phone aside after the ‘sent’ alert had flashed; Seb pulled himself off the bed and went back through the second floor. The main reception room on that floor had the doors opening out onto the small balcony overlooking the street.  All Sebastian could see were rows upon rows of black estate cars and neatly potted plants with no indication of any real human life taking place. It was depressing.

Snarling he pocketed his hands and quickly hid himself away in his bedroom, content to stay there unless told otherwise. To his surprise, his phone screen had lit up and a message from Jim spread out across the tiny window.

_‘Wait until you go back to Eton, it’ll be riveting’_

_‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you’_

_‘I bet those tails will suit you though ;)’_

“Don’t remind me “Seb muttered under his breath, remembering the choking collar and ridiculous black tails to the blazer.  Despite Jim’s teasing, it made Seb feel more apprehensive and more alone.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The punch to the gut was sharp and made a groan escape from Jim’s throat. This was what...the third maybe forth time he had been cornered and beaten up by Carl and his friends.  It seemed to have become a new favourite pass time for the three boys and just as the cut on Jim’s lower lip had sealed shut it was split open against by a vicious hit to the jaw. 

There was little Jim could do to stop the assault, and a part of him didn’t really want to stop it. There was something about the wind gushing from his lungs in the aftermath of a kick that made him feel positively alive. 

Collapsing to the ground, Jim curled up into a small ball on his side, his cheek pressed into the grass as strands of green clouded his vision. The words Carl was sprouting fell on deafened ears and the second kick to his stomach was only dimly registered. Instead Jim focused on a dandelion growing within the forest of green, its white fuzz of hair sway upon a long green steam ready to shed its pollen. Jim wanted to reach out, brush the top with the pad of his fingers, but before he could do so a gush of wind carried the pollen off into the sky, each white coated dancer twirling in the wind before finding a place to rest. The green steam was left bare and swaying lonely in the breeze.

Suddenly he was laughing. Hysteric bubbles of laugher swelled up from his lungs and popped nosily upon escape his open mouth. Blood that had been dribbling over his lips found the buds of his tongue and the copper taste only made him laugh more.  The contraction of muscle made his body ache and burn but there was nothing that could stop the rush of endorphins which filled Jim with such bliss despite the pain he was in.

Carl and his friends stopped, confused by the much smaller boy twisting and laughing as if the whole ordeal was a fantastic joke. Carl shouted at Jim, but whatever he was saying didn’t matter anymore. They kicked him again, for nothing more than to get him to stop, and this time Jim did, rolling onto his back and looking up at the three boys towering over him.

“You’re fucking messed up.” Carl spat, scowling and shaking his head at Jim who smiled toothily up at them. His teeth were stained with blood with pool in the split of his bottom lip and run from his nose. 

And then they were gone, leaving Jim to shield his eyes against the sun and stretch out on the long grass of the sports field, not caring if he was skipping lessons again. He found that nowadays he didn’t care about much, between beatings from Carl and his cronies and the constant tip-toeing around Gillian, there was no point filling the little time he had left caring for things.  Then again he had cared about little in the past...Sebastian had consumed what little feelings he had for other people leaving him with nothing.

Sebastian Moran. Jim knew that in reality, if the Londoner had been here right now, he would have bent over Jim, tended to his wounds and then flipped out in some violent rage against his attackers. But in Jim’s head, Sebastian was here, hovering over him on all fours, smiling as he swiped the blood from Jim’s lips with his thumb, the pad of said devilish thumb disappearing between that smile. 

“You should let me handle it next time.” Seb whispered leaning down to kiss Jim’s blood rouged lips.

“I can do it by myself” Jim protested not moving under Sebastian’s warm weight.

“Blood doesn’t suit you”

“Oh but I bet it does suit you.”

The daydream vanished abruptly as Jim opened his eyes.  Limbs aching he pulled himself up to stand, brushing down his uniform and wiping the crimsons stains from his face with the back of the sleeve. Hatred sizzled in his veins. Hatred towards Sebastian for leaving, hatred towards his brother for being the psychotic protégé and hatred for Carl who tears him from reality only to roughly push him back into it.

Jim knew he could not control all these elements; but there was one element he could control and that would come to an end very soon.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Waiting in one of the many living rooms on the ground floor was not the most exciting experience for Sebastian as he glared at a painting hanging on the wall opposite him.  Picasso; Sebastian didn’t pretend to understand or appreciate art and he definitely didn’t understand or appreciate the mess of colour obscenely hanging parallel to him. Frankly he though his father had better taste.

Turning his attention away from the painting, Seb spotted an old chess set which used to sit in sunroom of the house he grew up in. He could remember sitting with his brother when they were both old enough to understand how to play, being older and more experienced, Seb always used to win resulting in a mild tantrum from his brother and the loss of a few black pawns.  Pushing out of the large leather chair, Sebastian walked over to the set, dragging his finger over the top of the black pawns which had replaced the lost ones.

“You’re a lot taller now.” Sebastian jolted with surprised, turning sharply on his heel to face his father who stood in the doorway. Arthur was in the hallway outside, glancing through the door before disappearing, the youngest Moran had just had his talk with their father and no doubt that had gone swimmingly seeing as Arthur had never been a disappointing child. The same could not be said for Sebastian.

“You’re a lot larger now.” Sebastian said in return, stepping away from the chess set to flop back down into the leather chair. Augustus Moran was a large man in his late forties with a moustache and balding hair; face a constant shade of pink as he waddled around, speaking prim and proper and everything they had been bred to be.

“And yet your manners have not improved.” Augustus sighed exasperated as he lowered himself into the chair opposite his oldest son.  Sebastian could faintly hear the sound of Ella Fitzgerald playing from another room and for some reason there was a sense of comfort soothing the unease that lined his limbs.

_‘Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me, while I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me. ‘_

Relaxing into the sticky leather chair, Sebastian relaxed and every time he closed his eyes he felt more and more at home.

__________________________________________________________________________________

There had to be at least ten cans of puffed up tuna sitting in Jim’s attic. There were also a set of Petri dishes growing bacteria from a spoonful of soil in each. All of it had been growing under the correct conditions for a few weeks now and Jim made sure to check on them every day.

Carefully inspecting one of the cans of tuna, Jim could see no sign that the seals had burst open yet, but that time would come very soon considering the rate the bacteria should be growing in these conditions.  Jim needed to make sure he captured the bacteria cultures at the right time to make sure it all went to plan.

Clostridium  Botulinum otherwise known as Botulinum was a deadly and poisonous bacteria mostly found in soil and improperly preserved canned foods.  If said bacteria finds its way into the human system then the effects can be dire...if not deadly. Jim grinned, placing the can back with the rest and reached for the pot of white cream resting besides his knee.

It would only be a matter of time now

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Now Mr Moran, we all hope that your time away has taught you awareness for school rules and behaviour towards others. We do not want a repeat of the conversations we’ve had in the past do we?”

“No sir.” Sebastian replied stiffly as he sat with his house master that Monday morning. The rest of the college would be at breakfast whilst he sat in his uncomfortable school uniform having an equally as uncomfortable conversation. He’d been given his timetable and had chosen he sports he would do this summer as well as arrange lessons for the instrument he played. He hadn’t laid a finger on a piano for two years...not that he had ever been very good at it. In fact when it came to arts, Sebastian failed in all areas. He could not draw or act or sing very well and he had been viewed as a lost cause by the masters of Eton. But he excelled at sporting activities and his grades were of a decent standard, even if he was a little rough around the edges.

“We expect you to at least try and get along better with the other students this year, we understand that some people have difficulty making friends but now that we are all a little older it may be easier.”

It wasn’t that Sebastian hadn’t tried to make friends at first, he had but these were just not his kind of people.

“And let me make it clear, if you step a single toe out of line Sebastian Moran we will be directly calling your parents to discuss a punishment and we are both a little too familiar with this process aren’t we?”

In answer to the rhetorical question Sebastian couldn’t help the small smirk on his lips. There had been multiple times when his parents, mainly his mother, had been called to Eton to discuss punishment. The last time was when Seb had thrown the rowing team’s school uniforms in the river as they were getting changed after practise. There had been no real reason; Seb just didn’t like the team of boys he trained with. It had resulted in a detention with the house master and then when the weekend approached Sebastian had been ordered home for more scolding from his father.

“Have I made myself perfectly clear Sebastian?” The house master laced his fingers and leaned forwards on the desk. Seb leaned back in his chair.

“Clear as crystal sir” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long awaited I know, but as said, I still have to study for my exams so writing hasn't been at the top of my list. I'm not going to pretend that I know much about science, so if any of the research I did on Botulinum is incorrect then I apologize and all I can say is that I did my best.   
> A quick thank you to everyone, you have been so very supportive over the course of writing this and you keep me going even when I don't feel like doing it anymore. Also thank you to those who have done art for this story, they came as a big surprise and I was overjoyed, unlike Sebastian, I do appreciate good art so thank you again and I look forward to seeing what you artists can produce in the future. Thanks again


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